Trixie's Home

Hi guys

2011-03-21T18:02:00.002-05:00

It has been a long and at times difficult six months. I'll give you the nutshell version of events and going forward I'll try to make more frequent updates.

I'm still living a frugal life, but in October I had to take out a home equity line of credit to have central heating and air conditioning installed. I had no heat as a result of Bernie's biting of the water line last year about this time, which flooded my house, including the floor furnace.

The heating system was a real blessing during this winter -- you know the winter, the one with -25 degrees one day, with 21 inches of snow. And a week later, it was 75 degrees.

Well, Mother Nature apparently takes her calendar seriously. Spring sprung this weekend and with it came HEAT. So I decided Saturday to turn on the A/C, and it in turn decided to do ... nothing. No cooling. So on my "to do" list this week is calling the company to have them come do what they need to do to make their system work. Thank ye Jesus for warranties.

I'm still nursing my 16-year-old Honda along. I had new tires put on today, but while they were doing that they discovered the bushings on the lower control arms of the rear need to be replaced. I told them to keep the car -- they will get the parts tomorrow to replace those bushings and then go ahead and fix those. I also asked them to make me a running list of the repairs that are yet to come so I can start planning for them. I don't mind keeping my old car as long as I have some confidence in its safety and performance.

Now, as to other things going on:

During the week of Thanksgiving 2010, my good friend Rita needed to make a trip to Stillwater to have an MRI done to try to determine why she was having pain in her right shoulder and lower back. I went with her to keep her company, and to get an escape from town for the afternoon.

Rita had been hurting for a few weeks, and things really deteriorated on this Monday that we made the trip. I had seen in her face how much pain she was trying to cover up during our recent visits, which is why I invited myself along this time. And it is a good thing I did.

Things changed dramatically while I was in the waiting room. When she came out, she had to rest before we could go out to the car. I wound up driving us home. She wasn't the same person after she came out of the inner office of the imaging center.

On Thanksgiving Day, we went to her mother's house to have dinner with her big family. After we ate, she went off to a bedroom to rest and slept through the rest of the day while the rest of us played cards, visited and watched football. After most of the family left, she broke down and asked her mother and brother if she could have them bring her one of the beds from her mother's house because she was having too much trouble getting into and out of her waterbed. Of course they brought it to her the next day, but this was a defining moment.

By Sunday she had had a mammogram and another MRI, and her brother called me Sunday night to tell me they had taken her to the hospital.

She was diagnosed with breast and bone cancer. Another friend and I served as witnesses as she signed her power of attorney and medical directive.

Before Christmas there was a trip to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Tulsa for eight days -- various tests; a round of chemo and a trip home just before Christmas.

The chemo was brutal. Rita lost her mobility and it was clear she couldn't stay in her house -- the doorways were too narrow and her walker wouldn't fit through the doors. She couldn't safely get up and care for herself.

Just after Christmas she returned to the local hospital. It was a horrible, emotional, devastating time for everyone, but the end result was a painful decision not to continue treatment. This was made harder when Rita was unable to remember how that decision was made.

Ultimately, she entered hospice care on Jan. 4 and moved from the hospital to a hospice suite in one of the local nursing homes. She has two rooms joined by a tiny, tiny bathroom -- one is a living room with a sofa and a couple of chairs; the other room is her bedroom, what I call her dorm room.

Rita and I have been friends since the first day of first grade -- 50 years. I'm about to turn 56 and she's six months younger than I am. Her body is filled with cancer -- the PET scans showed lesions on a large number of her bones and her liver, as well as the tumor in her breast.

Generally speaking, patients in Hospice care have a prognosis of six months or less. Of course we have no idea whether Rita will live that long or if she will live considerably longer. At this point, with her pain managed, it is often hard to remember that she is "terminally ill."

And besides that, we are having the time of our lives. Stay tuned -- I will bring you more of Rita's story as I can bear to write it. She amazes me. And I can't let her go as long as she has things to teach me.

I'd call this progress

2010-09-10T21:18:00.002-05:00

This morning on the way to work I stopped at the ATM to get $20, because on Friday mornings my office has breakfast together. And I figured it was time to get some more cash, since I hadn't been to the machine in over a week.

Well. Imagine my delight when I was putting my card and cash back in my wallet and I still had LAST PAYDAY'S $20 in there -- that's from TWO WEEKS ago, folks!

That's right. I had money left over because I've been taking my lunch every day, cooking from scratch and mostly ignoring the vending machines at work.

It is a lovely feeling!

Home-made pizza success!

2010-09-06T16:53:00.002-05:00

After a disasterous recipe for biscuits failed miserably, I needed to get back up on that oven again and come up with some sort of baking success.

I was hungry for pizza. And having just read The Tightwad Gazette's recipe for pizza crust, I made it. Here's the recipe in all its perfect, wonderful goodness. MAKE THIS. IT IS GOOD. And besides, you can make the whole pizza for about $2.50 and not have to wait for delivery.

Thick and Chewy pizza dough
1/2 to 3/4 cup warm water (105 to 115 degrees F)
1 package (1 Tablespoon) dry yeast (I use the bulk yeast in the jar -- make sure it's new)
1 teaspoon sugar
2 cups flour (I used unbleached all purpose)
1 Tablespoon vegetable oil (I used olive)
1/2 teaspoon salt.

Combine 1/4 cup of the water with the yeast and sugar. Stir to dissolve the yeast and let stand until bubbly, about five minutes (Note- I had this in an 8-oz. cup. Use something bigger!)

Put the flour, oil and salt into a food processor using the steel blade. and process about 5 seconds.

Add the yeast mixture to the flour mixture and process about 10 seconds, or until blended.

Turn on the processor (on high) and drizzle just enough of the remaining water through the feed tube so that the dough forms a ball that cleans the side of the bowl. Process so that the ball turns around about 25 times. (Ironically, my processor quit running just at that time...)

Put the dough ball on a 14-inch greased pizza pan or large cookie sheet (I used my Pampered Chef cooking stone.) Cover with plastic wrap or a bowl (I just turned the food processor bowl upside down on top of it.) Let it stand 10 minutes.

Pat the dough out so that it covers the pan, making a ridge on the edges.

Spread with pizza sauce (it doesn't take much) Add cheese and toppings. Bake at 425 degrees F for 15 to 20 minutes or until the crust is golden and the cheese bubbly.

I will never order pizza again after making this.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to make a hamburger, pepperoni and sauteed onion pizza for tonight's supper.

An update

2010-09-01T14:21:00.003-05:00

Things are going very well with the austerity program. This is the end of the first week and I am pleased with the results of being just a bit more conscious of my spending.

Of the shopping trip mentioned in my previous post, I have used the ground beef in three meals that consisted of beef patties I broiled and topped with cheese (no buns; don't need the carbs!) I've added a veggie to each from my freezer or pantry stash, not included in the shopping total.

In addition, I made a huge pan of "spaghetti pie" on Sunday which has now provided at least six meals. I'm on track to finish the last of it tonight or tomorrow for lunch. Yep, I'm getting to the point where I really can't stand to look at it much longer. I prepared a 9x13-inch pan; my lesson from this is to make two 8x8 pans and freeze one so I don't get so incredibly bored with it! LOL.

I've eaten the three peaches as desserts, at a cost of about 25 cents each. Sure beats putting 85 cents in the vending machine for a candy bar, for so many reasons.

One more week left until my next payday, and I actually have money left -- a good sum. My phone bill will be the next drafted payment before payday. The other bills will come out of the next paycheck, but I am so well set with groceries that I will only need to make a small purchase, if I have to purchase anything next week at the grocery store.

I did make a tiny supplemental trip to Aldi's yesterday and picked up some shortening, a can of corn and celery. Less than $5. The shortening will be used for baking and the corn and celery will go into another casserole that will last a few days.

To say I am pleased would be an understatement. I had lunch at Taco Bueno yesterday-- just two bean burritos -- and I got my very first senior discount! So with a drink, lunch was about $3.50. Not as cheap as taking my lunch, but since I needed to run an errand to Aldi's, I'm not upset.

In the next week or so, I will have finished paying off a hospital bill to the tune of $300 a month. I will now roll that over to pay my doctor's bill. However, my next major hurdle will be getting a loan so I can have central heat and air put in my house. I need to do this soon, as the season is changing. My floor furnace is kaput and cannot be repaired so replacement and upgrading is my only option. I crippled through the summer with my window air conditioners, but even they are at the end of their useful life. Upgrading will make the house more comfortable, no doubt, and will be value added. I just hate having to pay for it!

I will keep you posted as I continue with my plans of eating breakfast at home, taking my lunch to work and then cooking items that will last for several meals. (This will get better as I empty out some freezer space and get to the point where I can freeze and rotate meals instead of eating one thing until I'm sick of it.)

Austerity is not a dirty word

2010-08-27T22:00:00.002-05:00

I've begun the program I'm creating to cut costs, save money and still not feel deprived.

Yesterday was payday, which means I finally was able to go to the grocery store again. If you look at my cash register receipt, you might accuse me of shopping hungry and really giving in to pent-up demand. Yes, I was hungry, because I didn't get to the store until well past 7:30 last night after a long day at work. But I made this trip work for me.

Yes, there was added work once I got home, wrapping bundles to restock the freezer in the top part of my refrigerator. For a minute I worried that I had overpurchased and wouldn't have room for everything, but careful arranging made everything fit.

So, I will share with you my purchases and their prices:

Corn meal $1.29
Dry milk powder $7.69 (this one surprised me because I have never bought powdered milk before.)
Butterscotch pudding mix 99 cents (my treat)
Baking powder $1.95
Flour $2.69 for five pounds (unbleached, all purpose)
Yeast $7.05 (jar)
Buttermilk $2.19 (half gallon)
Skim milk $1.91 (half gallon)
Cottage cheese $2.55
1-lb. roll of sausage $2.99
Sliced pepperoni $2.05
Whole chicken $4.45
Boneless pork loin chops $4.21 in saver pack of eight chops
Boneless eye of round roast $7.62
Eye of round steaks $6.28 for a saver pack of six steaks
Ground beef $8.64 in a family pack
Pork sirloin roast $3.42
Smoked ham hocks $3.56
Mini Babybel cheese $3.99 for six
Dozen large brown eggs $1.79
Butter $3.39
Diet Coke $5.00 for four 2-litre bottles; my vice
American singles cheese slices $3.29 for 24 slices
Shredded taco cheese $2.59
Two loaves of whole wheat bread $4
Broccoli crowns $1.12
Peaches $.77
Plums $1.45
10-pound bag of potatoes $3.79
Strawberries $2.59
sweet onions $1.32
Tomatoes $1.43

And then for the dog:
Two bags of Bil-Jac food $6.65 each for $13.30
Cool Jac treats $3.71
Milkbones $4.15
A toy $5.75.

With tax, my total was $146.79.

For supper last night and tonight, I was pressed for time and needed something mindless and fast so I broiled hamburger patties and topped them with a slice of cheese.

Instead of spending 60 cents on a can of Diet Coke, two of my 2-litre bottles have gone to work with me and are living temporarily in the employee fridge. The company provides bagged ice, so I can fill up my travel mug. I calculate I can get at least five drinks for the price of two from the machine. Yeah, I'm not perfect enough to give it up completely, but I am drinking more water in between, hoping someday that maybe I just won't want it. But not yet. As vices go, I don't feel too bad about this one.

So over the next few days, as time allows, I'm planning to do a major cooking and baking day, all from scratch. Stay tuned as I share how many meals I get from this shopping trip. I'll let you know what works and what flops, and what I find out about how these prices at my regular store compare to the other stores in my area.

Time for an austerity program

2010-08-25T14:02:00.002-05:00

I've been reading the three "Tightwad Gazette" books by Amy Dacyzyn (sounds like "decision") the past week or so and I've gleaned a few good ideas and a few good philosophies about spending money. And I'm at a point where some financial belt-tightening is necessary for a while.

So, as they say, the place to begin is at the beginning, right? This morning I took a few minutes to look at the "money leaks" in my budget, just to get a rough idea how much money I may be wasting.

What brought me to this? I got a notice a week ago that I was overdrawn by $1.05. I was mortified. Part of the cause was that my auto-draft on my car and house insurance payment went up $11 this month after my rates were adjusted for this six-month period. But you know what? I shouldn't have been so close to the margin that $11 would put me in peril.

So for the past week, I have spend zero money, other than $15 in coins I found around my house. With that $15, I bought $5 worth of gas so I could get to and from work; $5.90 for groceries; and I held on to the rest. If I can do that for one week, I can certainly plug some other budgetary leaks.

I've started by getting online and looking at my bank transactions for the past two months -- I opened a new account and now have online banking with this account so I can check any time I want.

I've checked to see how many times I have made cash withdrawals from the ATM-- it was far more often than the once-a-week I *thought* I was doing. Yikes!

I also checked to see how many times I was putting "lunch" on my debit card. Again, it was shocking!

This week I've been surviving by bringing my lunch and using the items in my pantry and freezer that I've just been looking past. And I'm REALLY looking forward to going to the grocery store tomorrow! With this break in the weather this week, bringing cooler temperatures, I'm thinking of all the inexpensive meals I can fix that will be good for lunches as well as dinners.

I've also returned to scanning the coupons for the items I use, then checking the store ads to see where I can get the most bang for my buck.

I don't think I'm at the point of washing baggies and aluminum foil to reuse, but I do use my oilcloth lunch bag (with a velcro closure) and tight-sealing containers for my lunch selections.

Instead of buying a tuna salad sandwich on a croissant at a downtown cafe, with chips and a drink for almost $8 (outrageous!) I've been making enough tuna salad at home for lunch and supper in one re-sealable container. Figure 69 cents for the tuna, a little more for a squirt of mayo and a spoonful of pickle relish, then whatever the cost of two slices of bread from a 79-cent loaf of bread from the bakery outlet store... you can see I would have saved WAY more than the $1.05 I was overdrawn! On average, lunches out are $6 to $7.

Starting tomorrow, I'll post my menus and the cost, plus how many servings they provide for me. And I'll let you know how many of those ATM trips I can cut out, since that cash probably also goes to meals I didn't make. I'll even commit to making a list of any cash purchases to see if I can cut down on my weekly cash allowances just by being aware of what I'm spending.

In a month, I'll let you know how this plays out -- whether I'm still walking along the edge of the financial cliff or if I've been able to step back and keep some money in savings.

Bonus post!

2010-08-19T22:53:00.007-05:00

** Click on the pictures to see the full frame.**

Baby Bernie

I forgot today's "Bernie" story!

This morning I let him in after his morning outside time. I was dressed but still had time to spend a few minutes with him, which usually involves me chasing him around the house, trying to get him into his crate.

Well, he was a pretty muddy mess this morning and I was trying to keep him off the furniture, with little success. A couple of muddy swipes on my sofa (NO! NO!)
and a pounce on me -- leaving my cute turquoise shirt and black jeans covered with muddy pawprints, dang it!

As I was assessing the damage and mentally trying to picture what I would change into, Bernie brought me his leash! Yes! All by himself he got it off the doorknob. Of course, in his excitement to bring it to me, he somehow managed to wrap it around his tail and I nearly choked laughing at his dismay at leading himself around backwards.

I couldn't resist his request, and since I did have a little time, we walked to the end of the block (a double block) and back. It made me realize how negligent I've been in continuing that portion of his training. We do really well with our morning exercises of "Sit" "shake" and "down," and he is very good riding in the car, but walking on leash we've neglected. (Bad mommy!)

We'll start working on that with some regularity. He did do well with sitting on demand during the walk, but he was pulling too hard to lead me, rather than heeling. Of course I did not have the advantage of putting on h is pinch collar so I didn't have full control with just his regular collar. It's a fingerbreaking exercise to put on the pinch collar and takes far more time than I had this morning. I think that will be reserved for evening walks until we get back into the groove.

Not sure when the fall dog training classes begin, but we will be there faithfully again. Bernie is a quick learner and very smart. He just needs more consistent direction and stimulation, so I better get my act together.

I think it's also time to schedule him for his first grooming appointment. He could use a good bath, and although I could do that, I also want to get his nails clipped and get a couple of matted areas trimmed. I'm very lucky that mats are few and far between with his type of coat, which is more like hair than fur, for the most part. I miss his puppy softness, but it's still on his face and head. I hope he will be soft again when his winter coat comes back in. His summer coat is still beautiful, with swirling curls parting across his back.

Well, he's now asleep in his crate and I should soon be asleep in my bed. He likes to wake me up about 5:30 which is so inconvenient and annoying, since my alarm is set for 7 a.m. Maybe I'll get him a watch to celebrate his first birthday, which was Tuesday. My boy is a whole year old!

Big Boy Bernie

Just sort of floating

2010-08-19T20:43:00.003-05:00

I don't quite feel like I'm "in the groove" at the moment. Can't seem to get focused clearly enough to work through the daily tasks -- at least not today.

I haven't been feeling great for a couple of weeks, with the weather being SO hot and then the change to cooler, rainy weather. I feel a bit feverish, alternating between chills and sweats, never knowing which will hit next. And it seems that for several days, as soon as I can get out of work, I'm heading home and napping for a couple of hours while Bernie has outside time to run and play.

Maybe I'm sick; maybe I'm just having summer stress. I don't know. For several days I was percolating right along, getting things done like gangbusters.

It's the nature of the news business, though, to get thrown for a loop by an unexpected story that is, or has the potential to be, a tragic event. And we had one of those here this week. It all ended safely, however.

Because of this floating cloud around me, though, tomorrow and Saturday have the potential of being tough days with a ton of stuff being compressed in a short time. Or, there could be magic and things will fall nicely into place, all wrapped up in lace and ribbons. What a lovely dream!

You know, I don't really see much of a point in what I've written. Dang, I did just remember something I have to attend right smack in the middle of my day tomorrow.... my thoughts are pulling me back and forth tonight. Maybe I need to send myself an e-mail to the office right now so I don't forget the things that are buzzing in my brain. Then the best course of action may be to go to bed early so I can reboot. Good plan.

Good night, all!

A nice rainy day

2010-08-17T12:31:00.002-05:00

I believe the summer heat has broken here in mid-August. The past three days have been much more bearable, and we're getting some rain today.

I'm a rain lover. I'll take a wonderful, cool rainy day any time over the blistering heat! It makes me feel more alive and much less likely to turn to dust.

I had to trick Bernie again with the leash this morning. It won't be long until that trick loses its effectiveness, and then what will I do? I do feel bad being dishonest with him, but it was a matter of some urgency for me to leave the house earlier today. Work required me to go to the county seat this morning and I dared not be late.

Water was deep enough on the road to cause a moment of panic when I hydroplaned for a second near my destination. My fear was compounded by the car that attempted to pass me on the right just as I hit the giant puddle that attacked. Everything turned out just fine, though.

I've spent the rest of the morning so far trying to get things scheduled for the next month. Since I've taken over a weekly section of the paper, planning has become a critical matter. My life goes so much easier when I'm not scrambling for a story idea at the last possible moment, hoping I can fill up the cover, let alone the other seven pages of the section. September is a busy month so I have sort of the same problem, but in reverse. I can't have an abundance of material for one week with nothing for the previous week. So, the balancing act begins. Not everyone is happy when I have to re-arrange things, but hey, that's life in the little city.

Back to the grind... I'm still not finished putting some order to this all, so I feel a bit uneasy yet. Time keeps moving along, though, no matter what.

Hope you've got some weather relief, too. If you do, enjoy it -- go splash in a puddle or just feel the air on your face. It's good for you!

Fun With Bernie

2010-08-16T21:20:00.002-05:00

I felt bad this morning because I had to trick Bernie into going into his crate when I had to leave.

It's a morning ritual that takes a good 30 minutes of our time -- me loping along behind him, trying to convince him to go into the crate. I bribe. I plead. I try to ignore him and fool him into thinking it's his idea. Finally, at some point I catch him off guard just enough to grab him and carry him to the crate. It's exhausting and it's not the way I want it to be, but I've failed at finding a good method that works.

This morning it got to be so frustrating that I resorted to THE LEASH. He LOVES to go anywhere and THE LEASH almost always is a guarantee of a fun adventure.

So. I get the leash and Bernie goes nuts, dancing around the house and squealing like a little pig. I follow along, actually leading him to his crate, like I'm trying to get hold of him to attach the leash.

The ploy works -- for now. We made it to the crate and he was insane enough that I just shoved him right on in.

OH NOES! the gnashing of teeth and the wailing of "I've been tricked!" It was almost pitiful and I almost felt sorry for resorting to it, but then remembered how many times my own mom pulled the football out from in front of me when I was about to kick it, a la Lucy and Charlie Brown. Trickery has its place, now and then.

All day, though, I carried the burden of my guilt with me, like a St. Bernard lugs its keg of whiskey. I felt I owed Bernie some makeup fun.

So tonight I really did put his leash on him and we went for a ride around town, radio and air conditioner blasting. He got to see other people walking other dogs. He squealed with longing to be the one walking. He saw others riding in neighboring cars and they exchanged knowing glances -- kind of like teenagers pulling up to the light at the same time and knowing "Yeah, I could take you."

After making a loop around the city, we headed to Sonic, where I pushed the button and Bernie placed his order of "whiiiiiinnnnnnne! whiiiiiiimmmmper!" When the human answered, I placed our "real" order. Two junior deluxe burgers, one plain. A small Diet Coke for me and an ice water for Bernie. He gets the plain burger. I carry a small Rubbermaid container with a screw-on lid which is just the right size for me to put his ice water in.

He sits in the back seat and is a very good rider. I let his burger cool down just a bit then spread it out for him. He eats. I eat. He drinks, I drink. It's symbiotic.

When we're all done, I screw the lid on the container and we head out to drag the strip one more time. The street lights have come on now and I can only imagine what goes through Bernie's mind as the light and shadow alternately speed by his windows.

Finally we make it home and I pull under the carport. When I gather up the cups and open his door, I tell him to wait until I get his leash. He looks around, spots his leash and picks it up with his mouth to hand it to me. Isn't that something? I juggle those icy cups and the leash and pray he doesn't go charging down the street. Tonight I'm lucky and he goes right up the front steps. Then he balks when I get the door unlocked and urge him inside.

Seems like he would be real happy to head back down the street. Come on leash, and hold, please!

Eventually he remembers that the last step of our adventure is up the steps and in! Yessir! Good boy! Excellent job!

I get the door shut and unclip the leash, hanging it on the doorknob for the next adventure -- or trick.

Um, hi. Good to see you again!

2010-08-16T00:13:00.003-05:00

Wow, six months since my last post! I'm almost embarrassed to post again, but I miss blogging.

So much of my time has been sucked away by Facebook. At first I thought it was really great -- to be able to stay in touch with my real-world friends and family so easily. And I still think Facebook is great for that. One post and I can catch everyone up on what's happening in my little world. It's pretty nice to have contact with so many people in such a quick, compact way, with photos or messages or even videos. Honestly? It's very cool. And a real marker of the changes we're going through in this day and age.

But. Seriously, it's sort of superficial, isn't it? The games -- and sorry to tell you, friends, but I block all the applications so I'm not buried under your posts about your farm or whatnot. I've still got too much of a life to be buried under that part of Facebook.

We just don't get the chance to share the matters of our hearts on Facebook, either. It's not the same as being able to blog. With the blog, we can either do a simple "mind dump" and spill it all out randomly, or we can give it thought and construct thoughtful essays. I've done both.

I guess tonight is kind of a "mind dump" sort of night since I've been away so long. I'm sort of hanging out waiting for the late-night laundry to wrap up and for the dishwasher to finish running. I have to unhook the portable dishwasher and turn off the water (reverse that order, please.) I'd also like to get the dishes put away. Fortunately (or not) I slept away most of the day so it won't kill me to be up a bit later tonight.

We got a break in the weather today. Not sure what our high was, and really don't care about the number. At one time I think I saw 75. All I know is it was very pleasant, and I actually shut off my air conditioners for a while.

Bernie has spent most of the day outside. I think this cool front has made him much more comfortable, too. American Eskimo dogs need to cool down! I wonder if he has any idea that cold weather is just a few months away.

I had a great weekend. Friends of mine came to town yesterday to perform at our local historic theater. They are "Hankerin' 4 Hank," a tribute band to Hank Williams Jr. The theater was full and everyone enjoyed a great performance. I was seated front row, center. Loved every minute of it!

Time to check up on the appliances. Hope to return soon. Hope someone is out there.

A Saturday Off --Must Be Cleaning Time!

2010-02-27T10:08:00.002-06:00

Am I a nerd because I'm excited to have a day off to clean house? I think I must be. Or it could be that I've just been stretched so thin lately that I can really enjoy a domestic day at home.

Ahhhh home. I miss it. This house I'm in is not "HOME" to me. It's just a too-small house where I keep my dog and come to sleep. Pitiful! I guess I have two choices: I can make this "HOME" or I can move. And at the moment, as much as I would love to, I'm just not up for a move. I don't have the energy or the money to find a more suitable dwelling.

It's kind of like being a hermit crab, y'know? This house just doesn't fit any more, but it's the one I have so I have to make it work for now.

I'm starting today with a good cleaning. Maybe I'll be able to displace some of the "stuff" that is crowding me. I started yesterday by returning Bernie's first crate to the woman who loaned it to me. He outgrew it, and another good friend let me borrow a bigger crate. So now I've returned the small one that was in my room -- it's left a clean spot on the bedroom rug and I need to match the rest of the room to it.

I've also got to gather up laundry. My fancy-dancy front-loading washer has been breaking down on me and I can't afford to call the repairman, so I've been hauling my stuff to the laundromat where I can get it all clean at one time. There are advantages to that! Also some drawbacks with the hoisting and the lifting and the carrying and the watching my machines like a hawk thing.
But I usually have been doing it once every week to week and a half, and there are things I do enjoy about the exercise. I get to catch up on my reading -- some enforced down time. That's always good.

Bernie has left me a lot of shredded paper around the house to pick up. He loves all kinds of paper. Fortunately most of it is Kleenexes he's managed to steal. I'm getting much better about keeping the important stuff out of his reach.

Well, now I'm all warmed up and inspired, so I better get on with the cleaning process. The mood and opportunity don't come together often enough, so EXCELSIOR!

Hello, Fellow Travelers!

2010-02-23T16:27:00.003-06:00

It's been a good long while since I posted. I can only blame work, exhaustion and Bernie. Oh, yeah, and Facebook.

Yep, Facebook is the place where I post most of my trivial thoughts these days. It's also where I have the kind of three-second interactions that make us believe we're REALLY connected and staying in touch. But there's a good part of me that doesn't really believe it. At least I hope that our personal connections are worthy of more than three-second posts. I think we're worth more than that, don't you?

Anyway, I don't know if anyone still comes around. I did get a call from my friend Buddie, who reads but never posts a response. And I apologize here that I haven't called back, Buddie. I will.

It has been an interesting season, this winter. Especially this month of February. I've had countless banquets to attend, including one tonight for the Teacher of the Year being held by the school district. I've been to some awards banquets where I've actually won some awards for my work. That's been very nice -- but I have to say the quality of banquet food this year has varied WIDELY from pretty yummy to totally inedible. There was one banquet where none of the meals served were eaten because the entree was tough enough to make shoes for all the Haitian children. (Not my line, but it certainly describes that tough hunk of beef that probably got recycled.)

The best news of late is that Bernie the Wonder Eskimo Dog and I started dog training classes last night. He is a whiz! A genius! He really did so well and I am very proud. He can do "Heel!" and "Sit!" like a champion. I look forward to practicing with him more. I'm also a little sore today from spending an hour walking around the armory listening to the instructors who had us practice these two commands. I didn't think about me getting so much exercise from Bernie's class!

In the "Nothing New" category, I'm still working far more hours than I would like, but kind of feel like it's a hopeless fact of life. I daydream about calling in and taking a few days off to hibernate in a quiet hotel with clean sheets, a TV with cable and room service. All I want to do is sleep and turn into a sofa spud, just for a little while!

I am looking forward to spring's arrival in the near future. We've had way more snow here in north central Oklahoma than usual. One nice thing is that the weather provides plenty of excuses for dreaming of a new life in the spring. The anticipation is pretty nice. What will it be? A vacation? A new flower garden? (Not with Bernie around!) Will I finally paint the kitchen and dining room?

We'll see how it all turns out. Maybe I'll just buy some new stretchy pants after all these banquets!

Bernie is bigger!

2009-12-09T16:05:00.002-06:00

Yesterday we had our second vet appointment. He has doubled in size in the past month, up to around 15 pounds. Hard to get a precise weight yesterday because he was feisty on the scales.

We had to wait an hour after we arrived for our appointment because a woman came in with a dog in distress. She was giving birth and one of the puppies got stuck. The vet had to do an emergency C-section on the dog; fortunately, all five puppies were delivered safely, alive.

I was a little crushed when the doctor insisted on securing payment before agreeing to do the surgery. That was $400 -- an expense the owner wasn't expecting and could not have anticipated. She was able to call a friend and a sister who were able to help her scrape together what she didn't have on hand. Still, I wonder if the vet would have turned her away and let the dog and puppies die! The good news is everything turned out fine.

After our wait, the vet was still tied up with the momma dog so the assistant just scooped Bernie up and took him back to the surgery room for his shot, and returned with him in just a couple of minutes. He got to see the new puppies and the mom that he had been hearing. Too bad he couldn't tell me about his adventure!

Just before we left the house for his appointment, Bernie managed to pull a Houdini move and wiggled his way out of the back yard again. He was sitting on the front porch -- this is the second time he's pulled that and the third escape to date. The middle time he ran down the street a few houses. I'm starting to think he may have a "girlfriend" in the neighborhood. Even if he doesn't know exactly what they are for. So he was muddy and messy when we went to see the doctor. Great impression... good thing most of the dirt falls off his coat.

Bernie also got an antihistamine when we got home because he had a reaction to his first shots. I know he got a good nap in while I went to get my hair done.

I eased my trauma of the day with a mocha latte at the local bookstore/coffee bar and picked up a copy of a book I've been hunting for a while. The weather has turned dramatically colder, so I hope to stay home tonight, heat up some soup I made in the crockpot yesterday, and veg out with the book. One thing I will never run short of is reading material.

My goal for this season is to sort through all my magazines and recycle everything possible from the stacks and stashes in the house. They must go! But you know how you always fear throwing out that ONE magazine that might have incredibly important or useful information! I've got two weeks to flip through and make sure I didn't use a $20 as a bookmark in any of them. Santa won't come until the magazines are GONE.

I'm about ready to bundle up and head for the house. I'm supposed to stay for another 45 minutes but I somehow am not feeling so inclined to do so.

Hope you're all fairing well with winter and the stresses that come with December. Stay warm!

A progress report

2009-11-10T19:21:00.002-06:00

Bernie -- that's Mr. Woodward Bernstein Bryant -- now weighs 8.8 pounds and had his first round of puppy shots yesterday.

Unfortunately, he did have a bit of a reaction and I had to get him an antihistamine from the vet today. It is effective at knocking him out, so I should sleep well tonight -- and so should he.

Since I got Bernie, I've been crashing much earlier in the evening. I feel like an old woman, but lately I'm in bed by 8:30 on most nights. It's almost 7:30 now, and I would be happy to turn in right now. Makes me feel like I don't have a life, in some aspects. In other ways, however, life is opening up again.

Bernie is smart and strong. He learns new things every day and accomplishes new stages of development.

Over the weekend I worked out in the yard quite a bit, with his help. I was pruning limbs and he helped take the sticks to the brush pile. He's such a good helper!

Once we get past his need to nip at me every waking second we're together, I think things will be much better. Most of my gashes are healing nicely.

Next time I'll post some new photos -- my card is not handy or I'd download them now. Soon -- I promise!

OMG I have a new puppy!!!

2009-09-17T19:49:00.004-05:00

Or rather I will have a new puppy in a couple of weeks. He came to my office today with a couple of nice ladies, along with one of his brothers.
I'm taking suggestions for his name (looking for a name that would be appropriate for a journalist's dog.) Feel free to leave your favorite in the comments section.

Here's his photo. Isn't he wonderful??? I have a new puppy!!!

Progress! Yes, it continues!

2009-09-13T19:18:00.002-05:00

My kitchen is in pretty good shape. Dishes washed -- all but a very few -- countertop clear and clean. Food cabinet cleared out. I've even cleaned things I plan to put in a garage sale.

Now I'm working on my bedroom. This evening I've flipped and turned the mattress, dusted the nightstands, put on a clean mattress pad and linens, and swiffered under the bed. Somehow one pillowcase wasn't folded into the sheet set so I have to find it.

I'm also clearing out the magazines. I just found a Halloween issue of Country Living on my hope chest. I thought it was last year's issue, but NO. It is from ... 2004. Three years before I moved here! GAH! I've been working on clearning out magazines for a couple of months, taking an armload to work to recycle every couple of weeks or so. Looks like I still have some work to do on that front! At least I have slowed the incoming magazines by not renewing subscriptions and not making impulse buys. I am an absolute sucker for magazines -- or should I say, I am an absolute sucker for magazine cover photos. I love the pretty pictures!

There has been a lot of clearing out in my house over the past week or two and it is good. Last night I cleared years of old paperwork off the dining table. Still more work to do there, but I am so pleased to release this clutter.

And yesterday I mowed the lawn. It took me just an hour to do both the front and back yards, and I was taking the mower back to the garage as the first raindrop fell.

I was rewarded with a hot shower, a good solid nap, and then dinner with old friends. All in all, a nice day, considering I worked from 9 to 2.

Today I made another step and visited a new church. I was so pleased to find a church that had all the best qualities of my former church in Oklahoma City. I will definitely visit again, but I also hope to visit some other churches.

Back to the mucking out. More to do tonight before I go to bed. Hope your Sunday has been a good one.

Getting Ready

2009-09-08T01:10:00.003-05:00

Following up on my last post -- I've made a list and checked off most of it this weekend, slowly but with determination, as I've had the energy to do it.

Time-wise, I'm a little off kilter from not working for five days (combination of illness and the long weekend, which, for once, I had off.) My sleep schedule has been thrown off from sleeping late and napping when I needed to do it.

However, I've made some good progress in the paring-down department. Unintended, I wound up cleaning out 2/3 of my canned food because it was out-of-date. I was stunned. Some of it expired before I ever moved here, two years ago. What's left now fits on one shelf of the cupboard and I will be keeping a careful eye on iy, making sure I use it before it expires, too. And I've learned I don't need to stock up on things I won't use right away. I can buy what I need, when I need it.

I've made grand progress on cleaning my kitchen, with the dishes 97 percent clean (I found some crystal pitchers and stuff when I unpacked some of those boxes and those still need to be cleaned.) Stuff like that also will be going in a garage sale or charity donation within the next month -- one way or the other. I won't wait forever to have a garage sale. If it works out, and I make a buck, great. If not, I'll donate this clutter and get it out of here and feel free and wealthy knowing I don't have to hoard things. They do not make me happy and I do not need to surrender my space to things I do not love.

I should go to bed now because I don't exactly know what I'll be facing tomorrow when I return to work. I have a very negative vibe about it -- I hope I am wrong and that things are just back to business as usual. I'll keep you posted.

Slowed, but making progress

2009-09-05T14:45:00.003-05:00

I've been slowed down by illness this week, missing work on Thursday and Friday. I had a very few minutes here and there to do a couple of loads of laundry and a little tidying up after my sick self -- certainly not the progress I have wanted to make.

Today, I still am not back full steam, but I'm at the point of MAKING myself move out of necessity. I had to get out to the pharmacy today to get my insulin refilled because they will be closed on Monday and I'll need my new supplies before then.

However, I've made some huge, major progress today, too. I went through four boxes that have been stacked in the corner of my kitchen since I moved in two years ago. These were boxes that my friends packed for me at my old house, so I wasn't sure what I would find once I got into them.

Amazingly, I found myself.

I found the self who, on a day's notice, picked up and moved to New York for two months on a fellowship while I was in graduate school. I found the photos I took there; the work I did while at United Media Enterprises. Good stuff. Stuff I am still proud of 25 years later. OMG, did I just write 25 years??? OMG!

I found photos from a trip to Florida to go deep-sea fishing in 1997. Another memorable trip on the Emerald Coast -- not just because of the seasickness while we were out on the boat, but the incredible restorative powers of the white sand and blue-green water. Incredible.

And I found photos from the most incredible trip I ever took, to Switzerland, in 1997. I cannot begin to describe any part of it -- the beauty, the scenery, the society and culture. I could not do it justice in a blog post.

Most of all, I would be ill equipped to describe a deep personal change that took place one night during that trip. Briefly, I had gone out one night after our tour of the day was finished, just to walk and take in more of the city. I tend to wander alone when I travel because I gain so much from it.

I stopped at a sidewalk cafe for a "Coke Light" so I could watch the people and just enjoy the night. One of my traveling companions happened to find me there a few minutes later -- an older man who was on the trip recording a radio program.

He stopped to visit with me and we had a profound conversation -- rather, he talked and I listened. He said he had been observing various people on the trip, me included, and wondered what the burden was that I was carrying around with me. He said that although we had only know each other for the few days we were on the trip, he sensed great potential that was being held back by an unresolved sorrow.

I started to laugh it off as some conversation starter -- not quite a pickup line, not quite the hocus-pocus of a fortune teller. But he persisted, saying that one of his gifts was discernment, a gift he had from being the seventh son of a seventh son.

It might still have been idle conversation, but it unlocked a truth in me that I had been suppressing. Family concerns had kept me from going as far as I might have, even with these occasional mountaintop moments. In fact, it was just a matter of weeks after this trip that my brother died and my mother began her final journey over the next couple of years.

Today's rediscovery of those bits and pieces of my past also hammer home to me that I may have had unfinished business a couple of years ago when I moved back to my hometown, but that is long finished and it is time for me to move on to my own next chapter.

Recently my boss, in anger, told me that my opinion on a matter wasn't welcome, and if I didn't like it, I didn't have to be here.

Truer words were never spoken. It's time for me not to be here.

Digging In to Dig Myself Out

2009-09-01T23:59:00.002-05:00

I started writing this in response to Tech's blog post tonight. His struggles are some that really resonate with me right now -- health issues/insurance inadequacies; feeling like our life's sparks have been burned down to embers and not being able to find our inner selves.

When I get in this state, I recognize now that it is reflected in my environment. Not sure which comes first, the chicken or the egg -- or the shattered sense of self or the mess. I know not everyone lives this way, so what I'm writing may or may not resonate with you.

I am fighting my way out of this quicksand that is so ready to swallow us up. One tiny project at a time. Tonight I realized my house was looking like one of those houses on hoarding shows that are so disgusting you wonder how anyone can live like that. Then I realized -- I CAN'T live like that. Not any more. So I watched one of the episodes of the A&E show Hoarders online (since I can't @#$@#$ afford cable to watch it on TV).

While I watched, I filled up two trash sacks with junk. I've put all my current mail in one place. Small baby steps for me. But then I realized I also made some steps over the past several days by working on my kitchen and bathroom -- I just didn't realize that I was systematically starting on this mission already.

This has been a longtime struggle for me. Over the years I've battled this with the help of FlyLady (www.flylady.net) and SHE (Sidetracked Home Executives.) It's one of those things that keeps coming back to dance with me, though.

Like the people in the hoarding shows, I start finding myself making excuses for all the clutter around me. The yarn? It's so I can knit prayer shawls for people who need comfort or emotional support during a tough time. The fabric? I'm making a lot of my own clothes, but I also have big plans for making quilts for some of my friends. No, I haven't made any progress on that in three or four years, oh, but I will. And I have other fabric that's for making pillowcases for children with cancer, from another project I thought would be great to take on. Oh yes, I also have boxes of pillowcases that other people have sent me for this project. And a big stack of pillow cases that need to be washed, ironed and packaged for the project.

Then there is my laundry, piled up on the couch. Some needs to be folded and put away; some needs to be ironed. Some needs to be sorted to give to charity ... or to have a garage sale which I have been planning to have for two years and likely never will, because I can't be certain that I'll have a Saturday off to have one. (Lots of excuses, do you hear them all?)

Then there's a big black garbage bag that is filled with 2-liter plastic bottles that I have washed out to take to Wal-Mart to recycle. They are ready to go, next to a stack of other miscellany for that garage sale. There's also a box of books for the garage sale -- if they don't sell, I'll take them to the Friends of the Library for its ongoing sale, of course. Oh, and there's some shoes that I've been meaning to take to a co-worker who wears the same size. These are all heels which are too tall for me, but she might wear them or find someone else to give them to.

ENOUGH. I have had ENOUGH. I cannot live like this any more. All this stuff has to leave my house, and I mean NOW. Labor Day weekend is coming up in a few days, and this stuff better not be around come Tuesday morning.

I need to make some big changes in my life -- things like changing jobs and moving to a place that inspires me and draws me to be more fully alive. I can't make that next move with all of this JUNK weighing me down. I am at that point in my life when I need to live a leaner, cleaner, lighter life. This stuff does not define who I am, and it does not add one ounce of joy to my life.

Stay tuned for the Great Clean-Out 2009. And I'll try to tell you the rest of the story about why this came to the forefront today.

Dinner tonight

2009-08-31T18:00:00.002-05:00

I'm marinating a couple of chicken breasts in plain yogurt. In a bit I will add some rice with a little water to the yogurt marinade, put the chicken on top of that and bake it at 350 for half an hour to 45 minutes. It's kind of a recipe I stole (and modified) from Drew Kime at "How to Cook Like Your Grandmother." He added fresh ginger to the marinade and I don't have any. I might add some ground ginger to it along with the salt and pepper, since I don't think Drew would hunt me down and thwack my hand with a measuring spoon for not using fresh. I sure hope he wouldn't drive all the way from Ohio for that!

Yeah, cooking season has started again at my house. I was getting tired of the nightly runs to Sonic or the other fast-food places, and of course my home cooking always tastes better than that stuff anyway, usually.

I just needed something easy tonight, and there's not a whole lot that's easier than putting chicken in a baking dish, plopping yogurt on top of it, putting the lid on the baking dish and letting it sit in the fridge while other stuff is going on. (I'm running some cleaner through the dishwasher, OK? We have very hard water here and it's time to demineralize the appliances. It's hard work.) Just a word of clarification -- Drew marinates his chicken for 8 hours, up to three days. Check out his blog for "Drew's way." I don't have that much time tonight.

I'll let you know how the chicken turns out. Right now, though, I think I'll get some salad because I'm hungry! Too hungry to wait for anything else!

I didn't mow!

2009-08-30T21:29:00.003-05:00

I did not mow this weekend, and I think it's OK. The lawn hasn't grown much since last Sunday. I might see if I have a free evening this week to tidy up the front, though it really looks pretty good.

We've hit a cool patch -- Temps dropped down into the 60s this evening and there's a definite little coolness; it's almost cool enough for a long-sleeve light T-shirt. Darkness is creeping in noticeably earlier, too, closer to 8 p.m. than 9 p.m. If I say that my favorite season has arrived, I will jinx it and wind up with another long string of 100-degree days. I'll hedge my bets and just say I'm glad to have this preview of things to come.

I spent most of my non-working hours this weekend sleeping. I just seem so tired lately. I blame the diabetes, of course. When I woke up after an afternoon nap today I couldn't figure out what day it was. For a brief moment I thought it was still Saturday and was so disappointed when I realized it wasn't.

There are house projects I need and want to tackle, mostly of the cleaning/organizing/decluttering type. I'm not making any visible headway, but I am at a point where I am "almost" keeping up with dishes, at least better than usual. I do laundry often enough to keep clean clothes at hand every day, though I'd like to have all the different piles done and put away instead of lingering in strata like an archeology project. Scientists will be investigating my house for years after I'm gone trying to determine if this is a "fold" pile, an "iron" pile, a "wash" pile or a "give-away" pile. Maybe I should make signs. Or get huge boxes that are appropriately labeled so there's no guessing. Or, you know, just get stuff taken care of.

I promised myself I could watch a video tonight if I de-crudded the fridge, and I did, so now it's time to go make a selection from the six videos I rented tonight. Then I'll be back in my favorite place -- bed!

Here's wishing you all a good week ahead.

Thunderboomers take their toll

2009-08-18T18:23:00.003-05:00

Last night's storms got a bit ferocious around here. We had some serious damage, less than a half-mile from my house.

And I slept through it.

There's a chance that the storms included a funnel cloud or two, based on what some people say they saw. But since it happened around midnight, it is difficult to say that those reports are reliable. Whether tornadic or straight winds, the damage was ferocious. There's a defined area that suffered heavy losses of old, old trees (which fell on houses and cars).

We got about 4.25 inches of rain in a 24-hour period, which brought with it localized flooding, too.

The winds, in whatever form they attacked, overturned vehicles, took roofs off a couple of houses, downed an electric transmission line, blew some structures off their foundations, destroyed carports and garages and generally caused mayhem. They even sent porta-potties scattering downtown.... yeah, nice landscaping!

Residents of the most affected areas came up with the same description over and over: It looked like a war zone.

I drove through the hardest-hit areas this morning and tend to agree with them. I have seen more damage, after an Oklahoma City ice storm and of course during the May 3, 1999 Oklahoma City tornado that went on for miles and miles.

You know what? That doesn't matter a bit to the people here who wound up with trees coming through their roofs and crushing their cars. Their losses are enormous.

I'll tell you a little secret, too. One of the people I interviewed this morning was a man I had known all through school, clear back to kindergarten. In fact, he was the first person I ever called on the telephone. After I watched a tow truck right his travel trailer (it had crushed an SUV when the winds flipped it on its side) I told him how good it was to see him, though I wished it had been under better circumstances.

His response: "Does it really matter, so long as you have the chance to get together again?"

Profound words from someone who has figured out what's really important in life.

One of those days

2009-08-17T23:09:00.002-05:00

This has been one of those yuck days you'd like to be able to scrub off of yourself -- using sandpaper if necessary. Things just aren't sitting right.

We had great thunderstorms last night, so getting up was hard this morning. Then I got to work and found that my co-worker has marked the work calendar to take off the next four Saturdays. That would oblige me to work four Saturdays in a row -- I can't quite see myself working four weeks with just four days off, so I mentioned it to my boss, who agreed that was perhaps not the best plan.

Annnnnd then, the co-worker's dog died at lunchtime, so that discussion is off the table for a bit. I'm so sorry for her because I've met her dog, and it was a cool dog. And I know exactly what it's like to lose a beloved pet especially when a parent is sick, as hers is.

I'm trying not to be or sound heartless, but we've spent the past year trying our best to make accommodations while she has taken care of her mother, who has cancer and other health problems. We cover when she's had to drive to Oklahoma City for chemo sessions or when she's had to take time off for medical appointments and procedures. But there's not been even the smallest glimmer of gratitude -- rather, it's been more a parade of her misplaced rage that we've been handed in return.

I've been there and I know how isolating and overwhelming it is to be the caretaker for a sick parent, 24/7. I hope I wasn't without gratitude for the help I did get and the friends who helped support me during that time. If I neglected to thank anyone, I am sorry. I want you to know I wouldn't have made it through without you.

The day was rainy, off and on, which I love. I especially love rainy mornings and thunderboomers at night. We've got more tonight, so I will sleep well again.

Not much going on here because of that weather. I crashed hard on the bed when I got home and slept for a couple of hours. I've been daydreaming about a vacation, but that's all it's going to be with doctor and hospital bills being what they are. I might have a weekend trip to my aunt and uncle's farm in Missouri when the weather is consistently cooler. We'll play it by ear.

There's some nice thunder right now so I think I'll hit the sack and call it a night. I have not been feeling well for a while, so I know that has added to my limited patience. That's a sign I need to withdraw and sleep. Night, all!

Fighting the yard

2009-08-16T21:41:00.003-05:00

It was so much easier tonight, my struggle with the yard. I just mowed the front yard and it took me about 40 minutes, I would say. It wasn't terribly thick, but the grass had put up a bunch of those Y-shaped seed heads, so it looked bad.

It would be great if I had a weed eater or edger, but I do the best I can with the tools I have.

Last week was a huge struggle with the back yard. It had gotten both long and THICK, and the mower would die after a few strips and not restart until the following day. All in all, it took me four days to get it all done. Last Sunday I finished the last of it and actually was able to go over the whole lawn once more to even it all out. It still looks OK tonight, so I didn't "sweat" mowing it again. (hahaha).

I did spy a patch I missed next to the peonies, so I will have to get after it sometime this week, and do another once-over the whole yard just to keep a grip on things. I cannot let it get out of control again.

With each mowing, I've also been hauling limbs and branches to the alley to be picked up. There are a lot of trash trees around the property, and a lot of fallen branches from the huge oaks in the front yard with some of our recent heavy weather. I wish I could afford to hire someone with a chain saw and a truck to take them all out at once and haul them to the dump, but that is definitely NOT in the budget with all the medical bills I have sitting on my desk. I hate to think how bad it would be with a more serious medical condition!

Anyway, I keep chipping away at it, while it keeps growing back. I hold on to the truth that fall will come in the next couple of months and this foolishness will pause for a while. If I had the energy I would love to plant some fall flowers -- mums and pansies. I'm just not at all sure I can do it any more.

Whether or not I mow in the next day or so, I will have to get the Round Up out again and spray the patio before it is lost to the elements forever.

Aha! I just heard some thunderboomers moving in, and the windows just shook! I got the front yard just in time. I will sleep well tonight, no doubt. Here's hoping you do, too!

Driving into the darkness

2009-08-12T22:06:00.002-05:00

About 8:30 tonight I felt an overwhelming need to hop in the car and head to Sonic for a cold drink. I was also suffering from RSS -- restless spirit syndrome -- so after getting my cherry diet Coke I headed down the road to the highway and turned east.

As soon as I crossed the river bridge into Osage County -- which is also the Osage Nation Reservation -- I knew I was bound to fly through the darkness. The sun was setting to my back and the lights around me became fewer and farther between, until at last I passed the last green glows of farmhouse security lights and entered the total darkness of ranchland.

Every once in a while I'd encounter another car, but in the state's largest county with a small population, speed limits mean nothing and they soon disappeared into the blackness.

There's a freedom to being on the road, alone, in the night, especially on a weeknight when such foolishness is neither expected or well-tolerated by others. Yeah, I didn't much care. I was free and left my tiny boxed-in world behind for an hour or two.

Even though I couldn't see them after night sunk around me, I knew there were other beings out there in the rolling hills and tall grass. There are miles and miles of cattle ranches -- you can't always see the cattle but the nose never deceives you when they are out there somewhere.

And I know of ranchers out there who keep herds of wild mustangs -- caretakers of the animals for the Bureau of Land Management. Hundreds, if not thousands, of untamed female horses (females only, to keep the populations under control) running wild and free. I may not be a mustang but I felt myself a kindred spirit with them as I followed the white line into the night.

Eventually I reached the end of my leash in a small town. Nothing there to see at night with all the stores buttoned up. I made a turn-around in the parking lot of a dollar store. Like a stone flinging from a slingshot I headed back through the darkness, less alone than before.

In the distance, I wondered how I had missed so many street lights lining the way; then as I got closer, I realized the "street lights" were really groups of cattle trucks bouncing along in convoy to some of the large cattle ranches. Their lights were arrayed in a single line because they were around a long curve and up an incline from me.

Two or three groups of trucks passed as I made my return. Not all were cattle trucks. I imagine some were from the major retailer in the area -- Wal-Mart -- and I felt a tinge of sadness as I imagined others were moving trucks taking families from my town and transplanting them to our rival city. There's a lot of bad blood between my town and the oil company that is shipping out 750 jobs. It was easy to forget that in the darkness, until the trucks rolled by.

Crossing back through the ranchland I noticed the sky was not quite all black as I headed west. There was a swath of navy blue just above the horizon, the last hint of any light from the day. And then, in a moment, even that was gone.

The next lights I saw were from the refinery -- the lone piece of the oil company that we've been told will stay here. I'm not alone when I say we have our doubts about how long that promise will be kept. Word is that in a couple of weeks we'll hear something different on that front.

The refinery torches have always been a marker on the prairie -- a nightlight for the town, showing travelers the way home from dozens of miles in any direction.

If the refinery leaves, too, I want to tell the town there's nothing to be afraid of in the dark. Come out and see.

We need to talk

2009-08-04T00:03:00.004-05:00

And what we need to talk about is prayer.

Some interesting things have been happening this week as a result of a revival at my church. I'm spending a good chunk of time thinking on them in my heart.

The evangelist for our revival was a man named Wesley Putnam. He's a fine musician, a fun story teller and all that. But most important, he's a man with a caring heart. (See his site at www.wesleyputnam.org)

Here is something I need to share with you.

The revival started a week ago Sunday with the morning sermon. I had about made up my mind that I wasn't going to come back for the evening services because Wesley talked about raising our children to know Jesus. Having no children, and having a bit of an attitude, I was having none of it. Until Sunday night, when I went back for the church supper and the evening service, despite myself.

And you know that God worked on my head as well as my heart. I wound up going to all the evening services, Sunday through Wednesday.

Tuesday night we had a really severe storm. I left the office at six after hearing a lot of sheriff's department traffic on the scanner talking about the severe weather with rotation west of town, heading my way. I walked out the door and was hit by the deluge. My umbrella turned inside out in the 10 steps from the door to my car. I struggled to get in the car and get the door shut.

I pondered skipping revival but dismissed the thought, mostly because the church was closer than my house. I drove the four blocks over to the church and sat in the parking lot for a few minutes because it was raining so hard. I couldn't see anything once I parked -- none of the cars that I knew were there from when I pulled in, none of the houses in the neighborhood, nothing but sheets of rain.

The wind was blowing at about 70 miles an hour -- enough to start rocking my car. I was afraid it could flip the car the way it was getting underneath and lifting it. So I decided to make a run for it. I thought I would be a lot safer if I could make it across the street and into the church.

Well, the wind nearly knocked me down and the rain was coming down in sheets, soaking me to the bone. The water that ran through the street was already knee-deep on me. I made it to the steps before my umbrella was destroyed. I looked like I stood in the shower in my clothes.

I was able to grab a sandwich in the fellowship hall and stood under the blower in the rest room to dry myself enough so I wasn't dripping. I was still completely wet, but at least things weren't clinging to me -- too much.

The revival service was pretty remarkable. But it's what happened later that really made an impact. I met up with my friend, who is the organist, after the service and we started talking. She's always been very sympathetic to me and truly is concerned about me, unlike anyone else in this town.

We were the last two in the sanctuary as we talked, and I rode in the elevator with her. It's a brand new elevator, but it moved incredibly slowly while we talked. We got a lot said before it made it down one floor.

Well.... the door opened on my floor and we stood there, face to face with Wesley, the evangelist who was doing the services. He was still wearing the costume of his character from his presentation. Sue, the organist, said "Wesley, this young woman is at a crossroads. I need for you to talk to her." And with that she pulled him into the elevator. The door closed and then the back door (into the sanctuary) reopened and we went to talk.

He listened to me -- really listened, as I summarized briefly what the last two years have been like. He acknowledged that I am a wounded soul. I told him how much I miss my friends, my old church and the fracture there, and my life before I moved here.

He agreed that it sounded like my life is there. And he told me that when he has been in similar situations, his best advice was to "follow the peace."

I immediately was struck with the release of tension throughout my body. He held my hands and prayed with me and told me he wants me to stay in touch. He gave me his e-mail address.

I went home then and got a hot bath and put on my nightgown, and felt good like I have not felt in a long, long time. There was no tension in my body and I felt completely at peace.

Then the power went out. Oh, the storm was long over, but a transformer blew and plunged my whole section of town into darkness. People were out in the streets with flaslights trying to figure out how widespread the outage was. I was forced to go to sleep early and slept like a much-loved baby.

The next morning I asked God to give me a sign confirming what I believe I'm being led to. The sign I asked him to give me was a definite improvement in my blood sugar test that I was getting ready to do.

Now, for months my blood sugar in the mornings has been floating between 250 and 280, consistently. That Wednesday morning it dropped to 205.

The next morning it was 180.

Nothing has gotten these numbers to budge for months -- not starting insulin, not changing and increasing my insulin, not changes in oral medications or anything else.

My levels have bounced around a bit since then, but there is an overall downward trend in the numbers, which is good. It was under 200 again this morning, by a significant amount.

So why am I sharing this story, other than for the fact that I think it's pretty cool? Because I want to talk about prayer.

That simple prayer with Wesley was different, and powerful, and personal. It lasted for a very short time, but had more impact than any pastoral prayer in any service; any call to worship; any benediction that I've ever heard in any church. Why? Plain and simple because it was one person asking God to help another person. No pontificating.

Too often people mistake prayer for a public forum to tell other people what's what. They use it to further their personal political agenda. They use it to make people listen to what they have to say, instead of having a two-way conversation with God, which includes shutting up and listening.

This was intercessory prayer -- effective intercessory prayer. As the beneficiary of it, I know that I WAS HEARD. Not just by God. God always hears, even when all we can utter is a groan. He always hears. No, what made this different is knowing that Wesley heard me -- even through the 1-minute Cliffs Notes version of my distress. He heard me -- he listened without interrupting, even at the end of his very long day. He could understand my pain, my wounded spirit, and identified with me.

And he said that in the times in his life when he's also felt himself at the crossroads, the best advice he had was to follow the peace.

We all of us need to be heard. From one heart to another. The next time you have a chance to pray for someone, don't settle for repeating something someone else has printed. We don't need a lot more corporate prayers, no matter how much we might agree with the cause du jour.

What we really need to do is listen to the needs of our fellow humans. It's about connecting with someone and HEARING them, understanding them, and THEN asking God to work in specific ways in their lives, to meet their needs and ease their pains. After all, PEOPLE is what this whole Christianity thing is about -- individuals who need to connect with one another and with God.

To Wesley: Thank you for listening. I am praying for you, too.

I'm Alive!

2009-07-26T23:20:00.002-05:00

Thanks for asking, Tech. I'm still here and alive.

It's the time of year when I find myself staying inside the house more and more, trying to stay out of the killer heat. So, basically, it's work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep.

I need to get out and fight the lawn again. Finding the optimal time is critical, however, I have to work it in around the odd schedule of thunderstorms, which leave the grass and ground too wet for mowing; my work schedule, which includes too much weekend and evening time to leave time for mowing; and my chemically enhanced inability to tolerate heat and/or sunlight.

Add to that a wicked propensity to recurring leg cramps and extreme fatigue from the diabetes and you can figure that leave me about 15 minutes a week for yardwork -- at 3 a.m. alternate Thursdays.

I've been on the new combination insulin for a few weeks and have seen some small improvements in my morning blood sugar numbers. However, today I tested a couple of hours after lunch (and a nap, so undoubtedly my liver dumped out a bunch of sugar while I slept). Yeah, not so good. It was 415 at that point. I've only had one reading higher than that. These are scary numbers, if you don't know. But I feel "normal." Having some vision problems, but that's the only physical indicator I have that things are still sccrewed up.

Also I'm taking a mega-dose of Vitamin D once a week. A prescription formula of 50,000 units of vitamin D in a little green gel cap on Wednesday mornings. They only dispense these 4 at a time. Needless to say the medicine-taking routine is now at the point of being a ridiculous ritual. One pink, two yellow, one large white, one small white, a morning injection, an evening injection, another large white, and a greenie on Wednesday. And an occasional purple. GAH! Oh, and blood testing once or twice a day.

This doesn't even get into the food rituals of counting carbohydrates, etc.

Just the mental gymnastics that are required to keep all these plates in the air keep me from having the energy to focus on better things.

And I'm real certain I've just recently posted the exact same post.

In something completely unrelated:

The parable of the Prodigal Son has come up too many times recently to be mere coincidence. I think it would be safe to say I have heard four sermons using this as the text in three weeks. Each focused on a slightly different meaning to the story; however, it's resonating with me that I'm in need of "going home." I know where home is, and I need to get back to it. And soon. Where I am is not home. I will elaborate more when I can get myself back on the path to where I need to be. Sorry to be sort of cryptic but "the plan" for "going home" is not solid enough now to make public. Your prayers, however, are always appreciated for discerning such things. I've screwed up enough on my own.

Conquering the plant world

2009-07-04T21:21:00.002-05:00

I'm in the midst of a glorious four-day weekend. I believe this is the first I've had in two years, so I am enjoying every possible second of it! I hope you are too!

I've put in a considerable number of hours working on the lawn since Thursday, trying to catch up with the mowing, and the watering, and the trimming, and the pruning, and the Round-Up-ing (not a verb, but go along with me here, please.) I've got more to do tomorrow, weather permitting. Not a lot, but it could be a lot if I were so inclined, which I am not. I just want to get to the point where Code Enforcement doesn't slap a red tag on my front door again. Which means some more pruning and catching a few strips I missed with the mower while the sun was setting Thursday night.

So there's one attack on the plant kingdom, conquering the suburban lawn. Why did I want to live in a house again? I wasn't built for this kind of work. I'm not good at it and I never get to the point where it is done and well done. Maybe it's time for me to rethink this "life" style. I need a condo with someone else responsible for the grounds. Yeah.... and a masseuse. And a weekly pedicure.

Anyway, today I conquered another side of the plant world with an early morning trip to the farmer's market -- yeah! they were open on the 4th of July! And it was raining!

I woke up early and planned to lollygag in bed listening to the rain falling on my freshly cut grass. Oddly, though, sleep eluded me, which it never does. It's getting sneakier. So I got up, went to breakfast and headed to the farmer's market where I made quite a haul. I couldn't believe how many folks set up in the rain, but they have tarps they set up over their tables. I'm glad they do.

I walked away with a mess of green beans, a couple of tomatoes, some red potatoes, a candy onion, a couple of yellow squash and four peaches.

When I got home I decided to have a garden dinner today for lunch, and so I made up a recipe. Here it is, and let me just say I'll be making it again and can recommend it to you:

4 red potatoes, scrubbed free of the garden mud and cut into bite-size chunks.
1 sweet onion, diced.
2 yellow squash, washed and sliced into 1/2 inch slices. Halve or quarter the biggest slices so they are fairly uniform.

Put the veggies in a foil-lined roasting pan.

In a bowl, melt two to three tablespoons of butter; add about two or three tablespoons of good olive oil.
Add a good teaspoon of kosher salt
Add a teaspoon of fresh-ground pepper
Mince three cloves of fresh garlic and add to the mix. Give this all a good stir to mix. Pour evenly over the veggies; toss and turn to coat well.

Pop this into a pre-heated 450 degree oven for 30 minutes; remove, stir and cover with grated Parmesan cheese. Return to the oven; turn the heat down to 350 and let it settle for about 10 more minutes to let the cheese make friends with the veggies.

Remove from oven; resist the urge to start eating this until it cools down to the point of causing lethal burns. Once it's safe, enjoy!

I had a huge plate full of this for lunch and grazed on it the rest of the day, finishing the last of it off for supper.

Then for dessert, I took the four peaches....

Dip the peaches in boiling water to loosen the skins, then plunge in ice water. The skins will slide right off. Then slice and pit the peaches and put the slices in an oven safe baking dish (I used pyrex). In a small bowl, mix about a 1/4 cup of brown sugar, a tablespoon of nutmeg and a tablespoon of cinnamon (all approximate. Do it by smell so you have a nice spicy-sweet mix). Sprinkle it over the peach slices, then throw on some of your favorite nuts. Pecans would be ideal; I had blanched sliced almonds which were also good. Walnuts also would work great.

Bake at 350 (the oven is still on, remember?) for 15 to 20 minutes, until the brown sugar has melted and mixed with the juices from the peaches.

Again, refrain from eating this until the danger of scalding burns has passed. This is great in a bowl ... with a little vanilla ice cream on top. All melty wonderful, kind of like pie a la mode without the crust.

If you're diabetic, be sure you figure out your carbs first. I can't be responsible for backsliders. I can only tell you these things made my holiday a happy one!

I went to the doctor and the doctor said....

2009-06-23T23:17:00.002-05:00

Hi folks! The series I promised you about the inspirational people in my life is still cooking and mulling around in my mind. However, I've been a little distracted with some heavy duties at work. A short summary of one week: College president faced the regents in a challenge by some staff members; restaurant closed by health department after a lengthy legal battle, with the largest fines ever assessed; 21-year-old shot to death and subsequent family battles; and all the normal, everyday ordinary stuff on top of that.

Oh, and I had to go to the doctor today.

The insulin I've been using wasn't doing the job to bring my blood sugar down, even at a bumped-up dosage. Today she changed me to a different insulin, which is a mix of long-acting and fast-acting insulins. I'll be giving myself two shots a day instead of just one; testing twice a day and oral meds twice a day.

She said that my pancreas has just "pooped out." Whoa Nellie, that's not something you want someone, especially a doctor, to tell you about your innards. Anyway, we're going to work hard to take the load off that ol' pancreas and try to keep the rest of me from "pooping out" too.

Last week I went in to have lab work done. Well, guess what. They lost one of the vials of blood so they didn't get the tests done that they wanted to have done today. So ... I had to give up another blood sample.

They did run some of the tests. And it seems that I also have another little problem that I wasn't expecting. She checked my Vitamin D levels. She told me that they consider someone is doing pretty well if their levels are about a 30 or better. Well, being the underachiever I am, I have a level of just 15. Huh. I got a D on my "D!" So instead of taking summer school, she's going to make me take a makeup D once a week in a mega dose. Great, another pill to swallow along with the diabetes pills, the high blood pressure and cholesterol pills and the blood thinner pill.

At least this explains the leg cramps! They have been fierce since the heat has rolled in. And frequent! OWW!

Let's see... I believe that's all of this organ recital. Nothing is as boring as reading about someone else's health complaints, and for that I apologize.

I could have told you about the killer vines that ate my back gate. Maybe I'll tell you that story tomorrow. You'll just have to come back and see, won't you?

A new series

2009-06-05T20:31:00.003-05:00

I'm going to be working on a new series of blog posts titled "Inspirations." These will be about real-life friends who inspire me with their creativity and positive approach to life.

One thing I've noticed about these inspirations is that their lives are not defined by their jobs, solely. In fact, in most cases their jobs, while important, are a relatively small part of who they are.

I've been reflecting lately on all the great people I know who have wonderful talents for music, photography, writing, community service and other avenues. I'm really blessed to know such great people, especially when my own life feels like it is taking a "time out." Even better -- these great friends of mine really don't see these talents as any big thing. Their gifts are just such a natural part of their lives that they don't recognize them as being profound.

Stay tuned to this blog. I'll start this series this weekend. I'm looking forward to sharing these people with you.

OK, that was what, a couple of months?

2009-06-04T00:48:00.003-05:00

Guess what? It seems I've broken my addiction to frequent blogging!

Sorry about that folks. It has been a couple of months since my last update and I apologize for that. Lots of reasons, but no excuses.

I've gotten a lot of questions about how I'm doing with the insulin, and I have to say, not that well. It does not seem to be changing my blood sugar numbers one darn bit. I've had my dosage increased and still, nothing.

I do go back to the doctor's office next week for more lab work and then see the doctor the next week. We'll see what happens next. Clearly, we have not found the answer if all this medicine is just making my numbers go higher.

On top of the numbers themselves, I've just not been feeling hunky or dory. No energy to speak of.

I've been trying to get my house organized better but my lack of energy is making that slow going as well.

And because of that, I haven't done much of anything to write about. I've made a few trips to Stillwater, about 40 miles to my south, but that's about as far as I've traveled. My aunt has been pleading with me to come to Missouri for a visit for a LONG time now, so the next holiday I get probably will mean a trip up that way. I expect that will be for July 4 if I can, indeed, get more than two days off in a row.

Yes, that's one of the problems with my job. I still put in too many hours without adequate time off, but that is unlikely to change as long as I am here. So I just have to keep trying to get people to understand that only being able to count on having Sunday off puts a definite cramp in my ability to live.

Well, I wish I had more to update. It's past my bedtime and I'm sinking fast so I better just publish this for now and try to catch up more very soon.

It has gotten hot here, but it was cool today. I wouldn't mind more cool tomorrow!

It's been a few days

2009-03-30T00:51:00.002-05:00

Giving myself the insulin shots has not been difficult. Just another routine to add to a day that already always seems overfilled. However, so far it does not seem to be reducing my blood sugar level, even with continuing my oral medications.

We started at 10 units injected at night -- the physician's assistant did say she wants to increase that to 20 units but wanted me to call her to report my readings after the first week, testing twice a day.

So... I get to stick myself once in the morning to test my early morning blood sugar, before breakfast. Then a handful of pills for different things with breakfast. Then at night I take another dose of the oral meds with dinner. Two hours after dinner I take my blood sugar levels again. Then before bed I do the insulin shot.

Stick, Stick, Poke! Sounds like a medical version of Duck, Duck, Goose! And it's not quite as much fun.

It's time for me to go to bed. I have to say I have enjoyed my three-day weekend for the most part. It was all spoiled this afternoon, though, when my very good friend Ron called me. He has been the music director and organist at my former church in Oklahoma City for about 20 years. He is an excellent musician with a powerful gift.

Well, he was calling to let me know he had just been fired. He has become the latest victim of a minister who needs to be removed for the sake of the church. A couple of months ago this minister engineered the firing of the director of adult ministries, who has done an exceedingly excellent job for about 10 years.

What's at the root of the problem? The minister can't keep his pants on in the presence of the church secretary, and everybody knows it. They have been caught with their "hands in the cookie jar" so to speak, many times. Yes, both are married to other people. So in a failed attempt to cover up their own moral weaknesses, they are resorting to setting up other people on the staff in a series of dirty tricks, forcing them to resign or forcing them to be fired if they will not resign.

Witnessing this has been devastating on so many levels. For those of you who pray, please pray for this situation.

As in all such situations, there is far more to this horrible story than I can convey in a single blog post. But as you surely can imagine, it is a painful situation for everyone in the church and beyond.

Everyone have a great week! Spring is on the way again.

Huh. I wonder why I was afraid.

2009-03-25T12:11:00.002-05:00

Turns out the insulin shots are nothing. No big deal. The needle is tiny -- smaller than the lancet I use for testing my blood sugar.
I've successfully done the shots two nights in a row.

The thing I am semi-panicky about is that I've misplaced a package of two vials of my testing strips. That's about $50. I had to go to the pharmacy this morning to get more because I used the last of my known supply yesterday morning. You know what will happen -- I'll pay for the new ones and then tonight I'll move one piece of paper somewhere and I'll spot the ones I haven't been able to find. Meh -- I've had to do some mild house cleaning in my search, which absolutely is not a bad thing.

Oh, I'm a bit panicky about something else. I got my pay check today and only had one half-hour of overtime pay. I can't live on what I earn! I'm used to checks with a LOT of overtime (which I still can't live on, but at least I get closer.) I'll have to do some definite belt-tightening for the next couple of weeks.

We're expecting snow at the end of this week. It figures. We're supposed to have a city-wide garage sale day on Saturday and I've scheduled myself to be off work Friday and Saturday. Looks like I better get stocked up on DVDs, groceries and books and just plan to have a nice three-day weekend at home, alone. If it does snow they will postpone garage sale day to April 4. Not sure I can manage to be off two Saturdays in a row. Oh how I miss having two-day weekends off every week!

Time for lunch. Thanks to all of you who have responded to my posts. It is so good to "see" you all! Hope you have a great day!

Went to the doctor this morning

2009-03-23T15:17:00.003-05:00

It was a mixed bag this morning at the doctor's office. Some good news (blood pressure and lipids are doing much better). And some bad news. Blood sugar is back up high; bad A1C results. The verdict: Insulin injections, starting tonight.

It's not something I look forward to, but it appears to be a necessity. Oral meds are not doing the job well enough alone and have some problems of their own (like... one is a sulfa drug to which I am allergic.) We'll see how this goes. It's good that I am not needle phobic. In addition to the nighttime injections, I will have to test twice a day now, morning and night.

Going to the doctor's office is a source of depression for me. The past three visits I have seen the physician's assistant. She is nice enough but for some reason I just don't respond well to her. The last time I was there I told her that I was depressed and wanted to move away from here. She basically told me to stop whining and go. Well, so far it hasn't worked out, but when I went in she said "Huh. I didn't really expect to see you. I thought you'd be gone by now." So, I started out feeling defeated because the economy is what it is, and I haven't been able to go someplace else. And I felt like she was rubbing my face in it. Oh well. I did get my prescription refills so I'll be set at the pharmacy.

I do have to call in and let her know what my blood sugar levels are each day for the next week so we can start calibrating the insulin dosage.

Next time I will see the doctor instead of the PA. She's really good with the tongue-lashings but at least she is more sympathetic which I consider a strong point for those in the medical field. Sometimes a person just needs a few minutes to feel like there is someone on their side.

I'm curious to see how the insulin injections go. I need to do some reading on the matter.

You have to see the eagles!

2009-03-21T17:13:00.002-05:00

If you haven't already looked in at Eagle Cam you need to. The first of the three eggs hatched this morning and both parents have been feeding it. At this moment there is a large fish in the nest and one parent is sitting on the two eggs and hatchling.

It is fascinating checking in on them. There are two excellent cams watching the nest so you get to see them from two angles. Go get hooked!

Well, you see, it's like this

2009-03-19T23:23:00.002-05:00

It seems a lot of us bloggers have moved over to Facebook because we are too busy to be bothered writing thoughtful posts about meaningful topics, which was what prompted us to start blogs in the first place. So, we've been settling for one-sentence quick hits on non-topics instead. The fast-food of communication. Yeah, we'd rather accept meaningless requests from our "friends" to tend a plant that doesn't exist or "help save the rainforest" or "clean the ocean" without having to do a darned thing except click the right button.

Meh. There are aspects of Facebook that absolutely make me crazy. All those stupid applications that waste my time and do NOTHING. True enough, it can be a useful way of conveying a quick message to several people at the same time, or posting an interesting story to different groups of friends. But seriously, couldn't we do that with e-mail or a blog just as easily and with less frustration?

I don't know any more. Each communications "improvement" seems to take us so much farther away from our connections goals.

Anyway, I've been watching Eagle Cam for the past few days. You can see it here:

http://www.suttoncenter.org/eaglecam.html

I did get to see both eagle parents eating a fish this evening, both standing up without being on the three eggs in the clutch. They are expected to hatch starting as early as tomorrow. Can't wait to see the babies over the next several days!

Wow!

2009-02-24T21:28:00.002-06:00

I didn't realize that most of a month has gone by since the last time I blogged! Now February is close to its end and tomorrow is Ash Wednesday!

I won't ask you what you're giving up or taking on during Lent this year. It's a highly personal thing. I would just encourage each of you to give it some thought. We're so used to hearing about the "giving something up" part that people have become very inventive about their sacrifices during this period of preparation. But somehow I think that giving up lima beans, liver or brussels sprouts kind of misses the point of this spiritual discipline.

Taking something new on also seems to be a more recent development in some churches as the companion discipline to sacrifice. Both components have their place -- for example: I give up disorder and take on steps to orderliness to bring peace of mind and also to make myself ready to help others. That's pretty much where my intention lies this year.

This came to me full force recently (See the Feb. 1 post) and I realized that my slobby ways aren't just a hindrance to me living my own life, but also curtail my ability to serve others. It keeps me from opening up my home and practicing hospitality, and it also prevents me from being prepared to act quickly in other situations, should the need arise.

So, during this Lenten season I will be working on this from both approaches, and through study. My study may not be a typical Cokesbury curriculum type study; there are several books that address certain components related to an overall spiritual discipline and response that have my attention right now. Maybe I'll blog more about them over the next few weeks, but at the moment I cannot promise that. I want to see how things develop before I make that commitment to anyone else.

One other thing -- I am working on getting more rest and going to bed earlier. And it's about time for me to make the trip to bed to end this day.

Bless you all and remember that Jesus loves you. Please take a second to say to yourself -- say it out loud -- "Jesus loves me." Use your name -- make it intensely personal. Say it and believe it, because it is the truth above all others.

Premio Dardos Award

2009-02-03T20:47:00.003-06:00

Thank you to Jill of All Trades for this award!

Here's the text that accompanies it:

"This award acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It's away to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web"

Now I am supposed to select 15 other fellow bloggers to pass this award too and contact them. I am going to have to think about this.... I'll get back to you1

To Jill of All Trades

2009-02-03T20:38:00.001-06:00

Hi! Does this look vaguely familiar?? I saw your post about your dad's place and did a double take!

Living Frugally

2009-02-03T00:27:00.002-06:00

Or, Authentic Living.

It's authentic to live within our means. We're not putting on a misrepresentation of who we are when we stop spending money we don't have. It's real. I'm broke, I don't spend. I don't charge. I don't steal from my future for something today that will a) be gone before it's paid for or b) will be in the way of me living my life tomorrow.

I'm sure we've all tightened the belt lately. Not many of us can say we're better off today than we were as we celebrated the millennium (remember that? what a big deal we thought it was? Remember all the Y2K crap?)

Now, I am not advocating the hording of toilet paper and bottled water -- I think people who do have a plan of preparation and wise storage of resources probably have a great idea, if the storage for the future doesn't impair life today.

What I am advocating is common sense and reason. Live well, in all senses of the phrase. Plan for old age. Plan for illness. Plan for hard times. Don't waste. Don't throw away money. Don't waste your life.

Several of my blogging buddies have been posting about their budgeting efforts over the past several months. I'm pretty sure I have, too.

Now and then I'm going to start throwing out some ideas about how to cope with less money. Here's a short list of things I am doing. I know these won't work for everyone, but they have become a necessity for me as much as just a plan of coping:

1. Give up cable. I gave it up when I moved here in June 2007. I don't watch TV. Not only do I save the $40 or $50 or whatever amount that cable costs a month, but I'm also not exposed to advertisements for products I "just can't live without." Sure, I missed the Super Bowl ads, but I don't need to create a demand for Pepsi or Budweiser in my house anyway. (Just don't interfere with my Diet Coke habit and no one gets hurt.

2. Eat at home. One small blessing of living here is that I can come home for lunch. On average, that saves me $7 a day for lunch these days -- unbelievable! That's roughly $140 a month.

3. Cook instead. From scratch. It's fun, it's relaxing and man, doesn't it taste better than the other stuff? YES. It's also cheaper and probably healthier. (Do not look to me as a source for healthful eating information. Let me serve as your "horrible warning.")

4. Create energy efficiencies. Go green. Compact fluorescent bulbs save a ton of money. I don't use old-fashioned bulbs any more. Take advantage of "green" give-aways where these lights are given out as promotional items. They will last for years. Arbor Day and Earth Day are coming up. Find a group promoting either of these and there's a good chance you can get at least one free bulb.

5. Keep driving the old car as long as possible. Keep it in good repair. My old car is about to turn 14. It's been through a lot, especially this past year. It needs a tuneup and as soon as I have the cash, it's getting one. And it will probably go a while longer. At this point I have to think of necessary repairs in terms of "how many car payments would this be?" Say a repair is going to cost me, oh, $600. That's two payments (or less). If that gets me more than two more months of service from this car, I'm money far ahead. My tags and insurance are much cheaper, and I don't have to pay all that new car expense with tag and title and license. OK, so the radio's not so great. Big deal. I'm only in the car five minutes each way to work.

6. I sew. I'm sewing more again because a) I can't afford to shop. b) there's no place to shop where I live anyway. To make shopping worthwhile, I have to travel about 100 miles to a major city. When I go, I make the trip worthwhile. But I budget for it now. I keep a list of things I "need" and then try to make sure I have cash when those purchases become essential.

7. Sales. Don't be a dang fool. If you see something, it's going to be on sale in a couple of weeks for half or less of the price when it first comes out. Yeah, I'm cheap. I get $4 prescriptions at Wal-Mart, and while I'm there I scout out the clothes -- mostly shirts, sweaters and jeans. The jeans I buy are about $17. But the tops? I usually spend $5 or so, certainly less than $10. Last time I was there I spotted a shirt I spent $15 for a couple of months ago, marked down to $4. I've learned!

8. My latest product recommendation is Debbie Myer Green Bags. They paid for themselves the first week after I got them. They keep produce fresh for a much longer period of time. No mor icky science experiments in my fridge, plus having fresh food inspires me to find ways to use it!

More another time -- share your favorite money-saving approaches in the comments!

Trouble comes knocking

2009-02-01T15:46:00.003-06:00

I got home from church and was on the computer for a few minutes when I heard a persistent pounding.

I went to the front door -- no one was there, but I looked to my left and an old woman was beating on the front bedroom window. She was standing out there with nothing on but a nightgown so I ran down to her to ask her if she needed help.

Bare feet, bone thin. Her hair was just a tangled mess and she had a huge bruise all around her left eye.

I wrapped my arms around her and helped her shuffle into my house to get her warm. The police came to my door before I even had a chance to get back to my bedroom to get her a robe and some slippers. A woman officer came in first and I ran to get the robe and slippers. Then she needed to go to the bathroom, so I got her back there to let her go. Then we put her on the couch and wrapped her up in a couple of throws.

A man officer came shortly after that, and then the woman's daughter showed up and was just ugly -- saying that her mother was spoiled and mad that she hadn't gotten her way and so now she is going to a home.

I told the daughter we were going to talk to her mother for a while so she could just leave. The officers just looked at her like "you heard her."

A third officer came also. He spent some time down at the daughter's house and then came to talk to the other two officers. Kristina, the old woman, stayed with me and I just held her and hugged her and rocked her and patted her and tried to get her warmed up.

I talked to her to get her talking. She is 86, about to turn 87 later this month. She has some confusion but there were some things she was able to tell me that were clear.

The officers spent a considerable amount of time down at the daughter's house, which is two houses south of me. Apparently they agree with me that the situation down there stinks to high heaven, so they will have Adult Protective Services check things out in the morning. They did, however, interview the daughter enough to feel confident the woman will be safe there until APS comes.

The daughter's story is that the woman fell in the bathroom a couple of days ago and that's how she got the eye bruise -- she fell into a doorknob.The male officer seems to give some credence to her story.

The woman is bone-thin. Even through the robe I could feel her backbone. I would be surprised if she weighed 90 pounds. And she had to go to the bathroom again before she left. Hate to be gross about it, but there was nothing in the toilet either time, which indicates she has not eaten recently. The officer said her daughter told them she was on a medication she started today that gives her diarrhea.

I gave both of the officers my card. Funniest thing was Kristine said "I don't want this in the paper" when we were putting her on the couch. I told her I could promise her that, then I turned to the woman officer explained who I am.

Kristine was probably here an hour and a half or so and was still bone-cold when they walked her back home.

I am so upset but I know that if APS can get her placed somewhere in either assisted living or a care home things will be better for her. Her daughter is not capable of being her caretaker at this point -- and if she didn't punch her this time, I know she will.

And I will state that I don't believe the doorknob story. If that woman didn't punch her mother, I'm a monkey's uncle.

25 Random Things About Me

2009-01-28T23:30:00.001-06:00

Several people have tagged me in their "25 things" both on Facebook and on their blogs, so here we go. I hope I can come up with 25 things!
1. I moved back to my hometown about a year and a half ago. I don't know why.
2. I am a reporter and cover city government and education.
3. I had a 15-year career at the state's largest newspaper, and freelanced for that paper for almost five years after I left.
4. I also worked for the State of Oklahoma for nearly 8 years.
5. I was held hostage near the end of the time I worked for the Department of Human Services.
6. I was exposed to the aftermath of a uranium hexafluoride release when I worked for the State Health Department and set off a Geiger counter after being assigned to take photos in an area around the plant in eastern Oklahoma. It was a mistake on the part of the guy running the device but it scared the pee out of me. Literally.
7. I was married briefly. There was nothing good or fun about it from the engagement to the wedding to the divorce. I got my divorce the day before my third anniversary but separated much sooner. Unlikely I'll ever do that again!
8. I am a musician. I have played the piano for nearly 45 years. Can you believe that! I also sing and play handbells, but I am on a break from those activities right now.
9. In 1984 I had a fellowship at United Features Syndicate in New York City for two months and lived in Manhattan.
10. In 1985 I participated in a symposium in Washington, D.C.
11. I went to graduate school but took a different job in another city during my last semester and did not finish my thesis. My area of study was new technologies and publication management.
12. I have done some travel writing which has included several trips. Most were excellent; most had some drawbacks.
13. In 1997 I went to Switzerland.
14. I am the "stump" of my family tree. Both of my parents and my brother have died. I have a few cousins scattered across the country; I routinely stay in touch with one cousin on my dad's side and a couple on my mom's side. Two of my mother's brothers are still living; I see one at least once a year or so. No husband; no children.
15. I like to sew.
16. I love to knit. The year before I moved here, I made more than a dozen prayer shawls.
17. I have been a DivorceCare counselor for several years.
18. I have been a GriefShare facilitator.
19. For several years I participated in "Christmas in April" which became "Rebuilding Together." I learned a great deal about home repairs from replacing siding and windows to building cabinets and doing minor electric and plumbing repairs and laying floors.
20. For 10 years I was the volunteer coordinator for the Red Andrews Christmas dinner in Oklahoma City. The dinner annually fed between 4,000 and 7,000 people.
21. Before I left Oklahoma City, I created a project at my church called the "Tie One On Chairity Auction" -- I had members of my church create aprons and decorate chairs which then were auctioned off to raise funds for Mustard Seed Development Corp. We raised several thousand dollars which was matched by a community grant from Wal-Mart.
22. I am a member of the United Methodist Church and serve on the board of directors of the Wesley Foundation at Oklahoma State University.
23. I attended the University of Oklahoma and was involved in the Wesley Foundation there.
24. I had a poodle named Fefe for 15 years. I loved her and I miss her.
25. I have to believe that my current situation is only temporary.

I don't have anyone to tag with this because everyone who would participate tagged me!

God Bless the UNITED States of America

2009-01-20T19:33:00.002-06:00

Following is the text of the benediction by Rev. Joseph Lowery during President Barack Obama's inauguration, as transcribed by CQ Transcriptions. God bless us, the UNITED States.:

___

God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou, who has brought us thus far along the way, thou, who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee.

Shadowed beneath thy hand, may we forever stand true to thee, oh God, and true to our native land.

We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day.

We pray now, oh Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration.

He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national, and indeed the global, fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hands, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations.

Our faith does not shrink though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.

For we know that, Lord, you are able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds, and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor, of the least of these, and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.

We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that yes we can work together to achieve a more perfect union.

And while we have sown the seeds of greed — the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.

And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.

And as we leave this mountain top, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.

Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little angelic Sasha and Malia.

We go now to walk together as children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone.

With your hands of power and your heart of love, help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nations shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid, when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen.

___

AMEN!

I was very emotional today after hearing of Sen. Kennedy's seizure during the inaugural luncheon. Forty years ago, in 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in April. Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June.

As a 13-year-old political junkie, I had held great hope that the work of these two men as well as countless others would spell a new beginning for our nation. After the assassinations I had no idea what would become of those dreams.

It has taken us 40 years -- a symbolic number -- for this day to arrive. The inaugural parade was a panorama of all Americans who finally come together with all their voices heard. Lift every voice and SING!

I am so glad Sen. Kennedy was able to stand on the balcony and watch Obama take the oath of office as the President of the UNITED States.

Lord, indeed, help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.

About my cartoon images....

2009-01-19T21:39:00.002-06:00

The three cartoon images I've posted are edited versions of real photos of myself, altered through the fun-time magic of Photobucket. Here are the "real images" which I am not particularly eager to share, especially since the one makes me look like a dad-gum walrus.

Good food at my house tonight

2009-01-18T18:31:00.002-06:00

I've been making soup all day. The long-cooking, good for you, good for your spirit, good for what ails you kind of chicken soup you cannot get in a can.
The recipe is Here, at Posie Gets Cozy. This is Alicia Paulson's blog, but the recipe is made by her cute husband Andy.

I'm telling you, this smells SO good that a man walking into my door would want to marry me on the spot.

Of course, this soup takes a long time to cook. I haven't even gotten to taste it yet. I'm just now at the point where I've taken the chicken out and I'm letting it cool before I debone it and shred it.

Meanwhile, the aroma made me ravenous. I've been craving broccoli salad, so I've made that too, with the recipe from Here, at "How to Cook Like Your Grandmother" by Drew Kime.
Oh man. Drew can COOK. And he does it, all from scratch. No canned nothing, no frozen this or that, no artificial nonsense. Just good wonderful food. He also does not believe in secret recipes. I agree with him 1000 percent! Share the goodness, people!

OK I have to confess that I had to put away the broccoli salad before I ate it all. I think I polished off about half of it before I realized my gluttony. I have to save some room for the soup later, after all!

Make these recipes. Eat these recipes. Share these recipes.

Now, everyone say YUMMMMMmMMmmmmmmmmmm zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (Nothing like a good sleep after good food, after all.)

Thanks Andy. Thanks Drew. It's good to swap recipes with you guys. (Oh, you mean I have to share one of my own now? Hmmm. I'll be back.)

Nooo! No more speeches!

2009-01-15T21:12:00.001-06:00

No more long-winded city meetings, please! Think of the children!

Life is more fun on this side!

2009-01-15T16:15:00.002-06:00

Tech, I'd love to join you on the Walk to Jericho, but right now I'm stuck in my cartoon kitchen in my cartoon apron, and so far I haven't found my way out. Soon as I do, though, I'll jog along to catch up!

Right now I'm kind of enjoying a short break from what you call "the real world." It's kind of fun looking back at you from the flip side!

Ohhh mah gudness

2009-01-13T12:58:00.001-06:00

I have turned into a cartoon!

A good day

2009-01-04T22:05:00.002-06:00

I had a rather sleepless night because of sounds I heard outside my window. The final conclusion on my part is that the noises were caused by the wind, but they sure sounded like an assortment of other things: Cats doing the "dance of love;" electric toy trains, complete with the "woo, woo" whistle and the sound of the wheels on the snap-together track; mooing cows; and I would swear there was a bobcat in the mix. Not a single dang one of them was real. I heard them all through the night, to the point of waking up and wondering if I should go look outside. I voted no, until about sunrise, when I finally threw on my jeans and coat to see if there was an animal in distress or a circus set up outside my bedroom.

Nada. Not one single thing that I could pin the sounds on.

So, lacking the sleep I needed, I opted not to try to be presentable for church and instead decided to have some private devotional time at home, and focus in on some things which have been weighing me down in powerful ways.

Now that it's just after 10 p.m., I can report that it has been a successful day, with goals identified and steps taken to meet those goals. There remains some labor to perform, but now I have a clear course before me.

I also have a mostly clear floor around me, which was one of the huge issues with which I was struggling. In fact I was able to clear up piles and stacks of books, dishes, assorted mountains of paper and other stuff to the point where I could vacuum the dining room rug.

I also moved my computer off of the dining table. This is HUGE in ways I can only hope to explain. This has been a spirit-crushing intrusion on what I want for my life -- part of the way I define myself. That computer on the table has been a fortress which kept others at bay. If the table is covered, I can't invite others to dinner here. I cannot practice hospitality.

Now, the computer is on another table along the wall in the dining room. And guess what -- where I have it now, I don't have all the accompanying cords trailing all over, wrapping around me and choking the life out of me. That was another benefit that was nearly a surprise to me as I hadn't really thought about that part of it.

There is a divided shelf between my dining room and kitchen. Over the past couple of days I have cleaned it and organized some of my favorite objects on it. There are 16 separate boxes or windows on this shelving unit and 12 of them are pretty, now. My things are safely off the floor. Other dishes have been washed and stacked in the cabinet below.

I've been going through piles of papers, sorting out things that need to be shredded and separating out the papers that can just be recycled or thrown out. The purge is GOOD.

There's a certain energy that has returned to me. I've missed it and am glad to have it back.

No, I'm not finished with this work, but it's just great to see some progress being made.

Time to hit the hay so I can be ready to work tomorrow. I hope your new year is giving you the opportunity to make some personal commitments, too.

What a gorgeous day!

2009-01-03T19:03:00.002-06:00

It was in the upper 60s, maybe even low 70s, here today. Nice day.

I started it out by ordering my breakfast to pick up at the downtown cafe. It makes me feel wicked decadent to be able to call Shirley and say "I'd like an express breakfast to pick up." She and Connie have it ready to go by the time I get dressed and drive the few blocks down the main drag.

My office has a bit of a tradition of ordering breakfast from this place on Friday mornings. We call it in and I usually am the one to drive over and pick it up for everyone. It's one tradition I can say I like about this work place.

Anyway, today was gorgeous. I spent a lot of time running out to the garage for various things. I've been working more on my dining room and continue to make progress. I finally was able to make it to a little cabinet area which gives me more space for stashing dishes. Now they are out from under foot -- I'm not having to weave a narrow path through this area now. Almost all of the books have been moved to a proper bookshelf instead of being piled in here too.

It was ladder day, too. I got my handy-dandy stepladder out of the garage because I intended to change the long-ago burned-out bulb in my hall. Well, apparently the problem is not with the bulb, as I tried several and still have no light. I checked all of the breakers -- twice. That's also not the problem. I'm just not up to switching the socket to see if that cures the darkness. I could, I just don't particularly feel like standing on a ladder over the furnace trying to keep from dropping things into the furnace.

While I had the ladder out, I cleaned off the divider shelves between my dining room and kitchen and arranged some of my pretties. It makes me feel better to see my watering pots and teapots and pitchers and bottles on display. There's a common thread linking all of them, other than function. Lots of rich, deep jeweled colors that the light can shine through or reflect off of.

And I made a trip to Wal-Mart today for a few things that were in the sale flyer -- exciting things! Toothbrushes and oral rinse and body wash and deodorant! Wheee!! And I picked up a pair of jeans and a couple of clearance shirt that were $4 each. I passed on the huge package of paper towels. They had a 6-pack of Super Bounty rolls on sale for $10, but I'm not a big paper towel user and I still have some rolls in my supply closet.

Well, I've got some more piddling to do around the house while I listen to Celtic music on public radio through my computer. I can't get the NPR station on my radio, but luckily it is available to listen to live on the internet. There's always a way to skin a cat.

Hope your new year is going great! I've been trying to greet the new year with a sense of serenity and wonder. I hope it makes for a better year!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T21:47:00.005-06:00

The first day of 2009 is dwindling down. Do you find yourself loaded down with hopes that this year is better than 2008? I sure do. 2008 was not the best of years for me and personally, I'm kind of glad to be closing the door on it!

I had to work for a couple of hours this morning, then I started doing some housework when I was interrupted by a phone call from a co-worker. We had talked for over an hour last night, and at least that long this morning. Times are tough, life is hard and I wish I had the right words of wisdom to offer the right comfort and a nudge in the right direction. Sometimes, at a certain point, I think we all go through nine yards of hell as a form of tempering. In all honesty, no one else on earth can truly help us get to the other side, but it's a good thing to have someone's hand to hold until you get there. One way or the other, we have to make that journey.

And here is New Year's Day -- the day we pin all our hopes on for fresh starts, new beginnings, "do-overs." That's a lot to pin on a Thursday, isn't it? Especially when there's no trash service?

I did get to continue on with some housework, then a nice nap, then dinner with some friends at their house, who made sure I got my black-eyed peas for luck. Then home, for more housework.

Yes! I can see some improvement for a change! Sometimes housework is so frustrating because it's just moving Object 1 from Point A to Point B or back again. But today I focused on a particular space in my dining room that has been one of the leading sources of emotional discomfort while I've lived here. I had books and dishes stacked up knee-high in this area.

Today, in near tears, I asked myself out loud what it would mean to have this space cleared out of these things -- to reclaim this area to be open, an area I could actually walk in. And I began. I've run two dishwasher loads today and moved books to a bookcase in my living room that has been home to auxiliary groceries that don't fit in my one cabinet in the kitchen.

Things are, happily, much better. I would not give myself a 100. A nice solid 80-85 percent, though. It is no longer a hazardous area, this one particular spot. Yes, there are danger zones remaining, but I have reclaimed a holy space.

I also washed my slippers today. Three pairs, which have been collected helter-skelter by the back door over the past several months. I've either run outside for some quick reason and gotten dirt on them, or they were victims of the Great Soap Spill in the garage last summer. Now, however, they are all clean again and put away in my closet! Yay!!

Here's a Power Point presentation for all of you (you'll need the Power Point Reader, I think.) -- I really found a lot of inspiration in it and hope you will too.

Live Life

Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks for reading!

Do I have a life? Let's see...I guess I do! Only 17!

2008-12-30T20:37:00.001-06:00

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen more than 85 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun. I got tagged by Frenzied Feline.

(X) Rocky Horror Picture Show
() Grease
() Pirates of the Caribbean
() Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(X)Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane
Total: 4

() The Princess Bride
() Anchorman
() Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
() Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 4

() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far:4

() Harry Potter 1
() Harry Potter 2
() Harry Potter 3
() Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 5

() Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
() Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far: 5

() Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(X) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() KING KONG
Total so far: 6

() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
Total so far: 6

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
() Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 6

() The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
() The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 6

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
() Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
() Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 6

() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 8

() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
(X) Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
() Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
() The Terminator
() The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
Total so far: 10

() X-Men
() X-2
() X-3
() Spider-Man
() Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
() The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
() Shrek
() Shrek 2
Total so far: 10

() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 10

() Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
() Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
() Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
() Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 12

() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 13

(x) Titanic
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 15

() High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Hook
(X) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 16

() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 16

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
() Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
() Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
() Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
() Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 17

() The Matrix
() The Matrix Reloaded
() The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
() Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal

Grand Total: 17

Happy Day After Christmas!

2008-12-26T21:43:00.002-06:00

Hello my friends! I've been away from blogging for a bit, as I'm sure you noticed. Part of that is due to cutting back on a LOT of things and working on rebalancing my life.

And, part of it is a result of the rebalancing -- I've rediscovered my love of sewing and I've been taking advantage of little parcels of time to really go for it! In the past bit I have made a fleece coat with a hood and collar (given to a co-worker's mother); made a fleece swing jacket for myself; started another jacket for me; made two skirts (yes, for ME); made six zipper pouches from elegant fabrics to give the women in my office for Christmas. And today I shipped off a package to an online friend who recently had surgery -- three flannel nighties that I made for her and her two daughters. That one is a surprise -- I hope she gets the box by New Year's so they can have a mommy-daughter slumber party!

I also am in the middle of a nice jacket that will match a dress that's in the lineup, in a gorgeous midnight blue. I had hoped to wear it to the company Christmas party, but I wound up taking election results that night while everyone else was at the party. It was my job to text the results to the boss as they came in.

Great news medically -- a cardiologist re-read my echocardiogram and found no enlargements of the chambers and no valve problems. I don't know why the other doctor said their was tricuspid valve regurgitation, but hey, I'll take good news. Also, the MRI just showed some sinus inflammation. A trip to the ENT should help get that cleared up.

I'm not complaining too much about the orders to reduce my work load. I miss the money from the overtime, but I also love having more time for my other interests. What I do object to is being made to feel like an invalid on death's doorstep while I was waiting for concrete answers. That actually ticks me off. As soon as I heard I was fine, I FELT FINE!! Goes to show you the power of suggestion, I guess! Eh, maybe there was more to it than that, but at least for now I feel just great.

As soon as I know my friend has received her parcel, I'll post some sewing photos. Hey, part of this is my way of dealing with the current economic crisis we all are facing. Part of this is finally having some clothes that are made to fit ME.

And.. as I've said before ... it's all about me, right? (LOL!)

And lest anyone take that too seriously, I've made a pledge to myself that at least every third item I make has to be for someone else.

I hope you all had a great Christmas. I attended the late Christmas eve service at my church. It was just right. I spent yesterday alone here at home just chilling. And today was nice -- just a half-day of work. I'm off this weekend, so I'm counting on more ... SEWING TIME!

What a week -- so far!

2008-12-09T16:03:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was a busy day, which made today a big news day for me!

First of all, the city commissioners named a new city manager last night. Big story No. 1.

Second, they set the date for a municipal election to elect two new members of the Board of Commissioners. Two commissioners whose terms expire in April 2009 have announced they will not seek re-election. This has the potential of severely shifting the balance of the board. Already a previous commissioner has announced he will seek one of the positions. This is a good thing -- he is experienced and brings a very cool, level head and calming spirit to the position. I don't know yet who else will seek one of these offices.

Third, the school board met last night and voted to extend last year's teachers' contract to end an impasse between the school district and the Association of Classroom Teachers which has been ongoing since negotiations bogged in September. The two sides have tried to negotiate a settlement but they were unable to, even after a three-member fact-finding commission held a hearing and made recommendations. So it is done, over, finished for this year and the board and teachers will find themselves right back at work on a contract for next school year.

And today we have a city election on extending a half-cent sales tax for another five years to cover cost overruns on a project to build the city's Aquatic and Family Center -- YMCA. The original sales tax was passed overwhelmingly when the projected cost of the center was $16 million. When bids were opened in July this year, however, bids came in at $23 million, $24 million and $26 million.

City commissioners and the board of the YMCA hired a construction manager at-risk to do value engineering on the project and then the commission called for a special election which would extend the sales tax for an additional five years, expiring either at the end of the five years or when the tax has raised enough money to cover construction costs.

Today we are having a winter snow storm (it is becoming severe even as I type!) The weather definitely will play a roll in this vote. Emotions are high on both sides of this issue.

One salient point is that ConocoPhillips recently announced that it will be pulling an additional 700+ jobs from here, which puts the issue at risk of not passing, certainly moreso than when the election was set. Talk about bad timing -- the crash of the economy coupled with this pull-out, coupled with rising construction costs...

I have come home to work this afternoon in order to get myself off of the snow-laden streets. I am in to stay. I've arranged to call the election board through the evening for updates.

Tonight is also the company Christmas dinner, which I had planned to attend. Instead, I'll be working on some school issues and relaying election information via text messages to another worker at the party, who will post via laptop to the company web site (and also keep the boss informed of the results.)

This accomplishes much. It gets me home earlier this afternoon; keeps us current on the election count without having to drive in this weather to the county election board in the county seat 21 miles away, and keeps me from having to dress up for a company party at the country club.

I don't care so much how the election goes -- the people will speak. But I count ALL of that as a win for ME! (And we all know it's all about me, right?)

A few days off

2008-12-03T11:45:00.003-06:00

After working virtually every day since June 4, 2007, I now have some vacation time to use before the end of the year. Twenty-two hours, to be exact. Yep, not even THREE DAYS. However, I'm going to blow the budget and add two unpaid hours to that (or make up those two hours with some extra time next week -- whatever squares).

No great plans for travel, obviously. So I'm "hiring" myself out to me to get some things done around my house. I might be able to make a small dent.

Now, right to my health update for today. I went to my doctor yesterday. The results of the MRI are not back yet; however, I do have some preliminary info from the carotid artery dopplers and the echocardiogram. There is some plaque in the carotid arteries, but not enough to consider surgery. It's just a huge warning sign.

The more serious issue is what they found on the echocardiogram. It seems I have a tricuspid valve problem -- regurgitation. The valve is "floppy" and is allowing blood go flow backwards. Not enough that it can be heard by stethescope. And the physician's assistant wants a cardiologist to read the test results. A different doctor read the results and it wasn't who she asked for specifically. So.... we'll see if there's more information to come on that.

Apparently they are really backed up on MRI results so it may be another few days before they get those.

Now, the reason the tricuspid valve problem worries me so much is because I was a longterm user of the diet drugs Phen-Fen during the 1990s. I was probably on the combination for two years. They consider four months "long-term" use. And just recently there has been even more news about former users having valve damage more than 10 years later. I think I may be one of those people. And that is scary.

There's more to come in the way of big changes, but I'll wait to post until I can firm up some things. Big dreams may be on their way to becoming either fulfilled or dashed hopelessly forever. Whichever way it goes, I've got to do something big while I have some chance at it. Cryptic I know but there's nothing concrete to report, just dreams and hopes and plans at this point. And since I have a rather long history of dreams being dashed and plans being thwarted, I'll just keep some of this quiet for now, to protect my emotions.

Off I go to report for duty for the day. I think I'll crank up some high-energy music to get me going!

Technology bites sometimes

2008-12-01T21:31:00.002-06:00

Last night I was reading one of my favorite message boards when someone posted about Black Jewel popcorn. I've never heard of it, but the mention sparked a fierce craving for popcorn, so off I toddled to the kitchen for one of my evil treats, a mini-bag of Pop Secret (it's called that because it's supposed to be a secret from my doctor. Don't tell.)

Anyway, I got the spark I wanted plus some to the 10th degree. Halfway through the designated nuking time, my little cheap microwave belched a terrible sound and emitted a flash of electricity or nuclear power from the chamber. I didn't know whether to approach it and try to shut off the dial or to run for the hills. I tried desperately to remember what people did in that movie, "The Day After." You know the one -- the 1983 movie where the nuclear bomb explodes in Lawrence, Kansas, and the last thing people saw was the image of their own skeleton as they went to heaven in a hurry? Quite a step up from the Kansas-Missouri war with Quantrill's Raiders.

Anyway, I digress. The daggone microwave went and blowed itself up. And it scared me. I haven't heard a sound like that before and sure haven't seen a nuclear meltdown in my kitchen before. But I ate that popcorn, and it was the best I ever had, even if I glowed on about it all night.

However, I paid the piper this morning -- the coldest morning so far this year -- when I decided to dress up and wear a skirt and blouse to work. And then the car wouldn't start. Not a single crank left in the cranky thing. I was supposed to go cover a county commissioner's meeting this morning, but it was too late to make the drive to the county seat once I had a co-worker come pick me up and drive me to the office.

The good news is I got some work done, then contacted the handy-dandy Goodyear car repair store a couple of blocks from my office. I made arrangements to have them drive me over to my car to try to jump the battery enough to drive it to their store to get a new battery, and an oil change while I was at it. (O Lord, for your tender mercies on my car, I do humbly give thanks. It has been xxxsometimexxx since my last oil change.)

I had inquired about the cost of the services before making these arrangements. Dude-O says $79.99 for a two-year battery. Fine. $29.99 for an oil change. OK, fine. It's cold. I'm in need. I'm also poor, and I figure $100 spent today will save me more than $100 in cab fare this week.

Off we go to my house. Dude-O says "why don't you give it a crank so I can hear what it's doing." OK. I expect the same dead nuthin' I got this morning. Oh no! The girl has ONE. LAST. CRANK. LEFT.

I wipe the egg off my face and we drive back to the store. I left the car and went on my way to cover a city commission meeting. And then I piddled with some other work, including a front-page story for tomorrow and stuff. I call over to the Goodyear store about 4:40 -- inquire about my darlin' car. "Oh, he's just about to start that and should be done by 5." Er, OK. cutting it close, ain'tcha? Cold beggars, however, cannot be picky. So I walk, in my ridiculous short skirt, to the Goodyear store, freezing more with each step in the darkening afternoon. No, it's not done at 5. It's not done at 5:15. Finally, it is complete at 5:35.

Meanwhile, Dude-O has given me a figure for the work.

"$198.98," he says with great satisfaction.

I did not faint on the showroom floor, because it would be unladylike to fall down in that dang short skirt. I didn't want to lose all of my dignity, or all of my money, for that matter.

I called him on it and asked how a $79.99 battery and a $29.99 oil change came up to near on 200 bucks.

Oh, well, you see, there's the $41.95 installation fee for the battery, and the $44.95 electrical system check we ran....

Not once in the 36 years that I have been driving have I ever, ever paid a fee to install a battery in any car I've owned, not even the one in 1972 that exploded when I started the Datsun station wagon in our front yard, causing both of my parents to run from the house fearing they would find pieces of my mangled body scattered across the block. Fortunately for me, that did not happen. I just wet my pants and sat staring blankly into space from the front seat until my dad dragged me out of the car to make sure I still had my lower limbs. I was fine once I changed clothes; they were fine when they reached the guy at the Datsun dealership who drove over and put a whole brand-new battery in the car for free, "cuz it shouldn'ta oughta done that."

So, here I sit, with a pile of bills I can't pay, but by George I can start that old car again. Of course, there are those other things that need attention, like, I supposedly need new wiper blades (how many times a year do garages think we need to replace those?) Oh, and the air filter needs to be changed next oil change. Oh. One other thing. That front left tie rod needs to be replaced and you need an alignment.

OK. Thanks. I'll start getting estimates for that -- at other places. I'm afraid you might charge me a fee to replace the air in my tires next time.

I've been memed!

2008-11-30T16:40:00.002-06:00

I've been memed by that big osu fan, Erudite Redneck! And I'm tagging Tech, Drlobojo, Junior The Bear, and anyone else who wants to play, too!

1. Five names you go by:
a) My real name
b) Trixie
c) Zerelda
d) Mini-me
e) "Crash"

2. Three things you are wearing right now:
a) A white sweatshirt
b) Blue sweat pants
c) Red -n- white checked tennis shoes.

3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
a) A Diet Coke
b) To get out of this here town to a better place.

4. Three people who will probably fill this out:
I hope Tech, maybe Drlobojo, and I would love it if my friend Junior The Bear did.

5. Two things you did last night:
a)Went through a box sorting out various connectors, wires, antennae, transformers and phone cords.
b)Cut out a jacket I'm working on today between other things.

6. Two things you ate today:
a) Dressing.
b) Turkey and noodles

7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:
a) Co-Worker Sharon.
b) Friend Dee.

8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
a) County Commissioners meeting in the morning
b) City Commissioners meeting in the afternoon. Then I'll be out of commission. (ers)

9. Two longest car rides:
a) From my hometown 21 miles from Oklahoma's north central border to Vancouver, British Columbia, then east through Canada land, down through North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Missouri (detour to relatives), Kansas and home.
b) Hometown to Seattle, Wash., to Vancouver, B.C., back through Idaho, Montana, Utah, Colorado, Texas Panhandle and home. We took BIG driving vacations every year when I was a kid.

10. Two of your favorite beverages:
a) Diet Coke
b) On rare occasions, a Sonic chocolate/cherry Diet Coke.

Late Sunday evening

2008-11-23T23:18:00.002-06:00

Hi there, I figure it's time for me to check in again. It's been a week of limbo. I had the echocardiogram and the carotid artery doppler exams last Tuesday and the MRI will be done in the morning. The doctor added Plavix to my mix of meds -- the WD-40 of red blood cells to keep things from clumping together and forming a blood clot. I can feel a difference -- don't know that I should, necessarily, but I do. My blood pressure is down CONSIDERABLY. It was 130/70 today which is a great improvement from the 220/117 less than a week ago.

I don't mean for this to become an organ recital. I am truly looking for the best news out of this situation. Good bits of news: I am cutting back on my working hours. I didn't work on Saturday and the orders are not to work more than 40 hours a week any more. I've gotten tons of cards from friends and people who are concerned about me, which is nice (and surprising. I really didn't expect that). Also tons of phone calls.

Funny story about the phone calls -- I'm supposed to be trying to rest, so I missed answering a few this afternoon. I've also been doing some sewing this weekend and at one point had taken off my jeans to try on a skirt I was working on. It fell off me, so as I was trying to pin some deeper darts in the waistband, my cell phone rang. I went to grab it, sans pants, and for the next FOUR HOURS I was on the phone constantly. I was getting COLD!

And people were fussing at me. "Well, I hadn't heard from you so I thought I'd check to see if you were dead." "I sent you a card, but I didn't hear anything so I didn't know if you got it."

People, I love you, but please. If your goal is to make me feel better, please don't fuss at me right now. It's not helping.

I hope you all are planning great Thanksgiving feasts. I have an invite to join friends for lunch. I miss making a big meal but there are definite pluses to being a guest. Whichever you are this year, count your blessings!

Two down, one to go

2008-11-18T10:09:00.002-06:00

I don't know what I was thinking, but I mixed up the order of the tests I'm taking. Today I had the echocardiogram and the carotid artery dopplers, since they are both ultrasound tests. We did them at the same time on the same table -- just moved the goo around from the chest to the neck. Easy peasy tests. Now what they show? I don't know. I just know they are expensive and the hospital asked if I wanted to pay my couple a' thousand today to get the 20 percent discount. Der, um, NO. They ought to give that discount to those of us who CAN'T pay thousands at the drop of a hat!

The MRI will be next Monday.

Meanwhile, I'll spend the bulk of today at home.

It has not been a good day for my co-workers. One co-worker, whose mother is fighting cancer, called me at 6 a.m. to let me know they were on their way to the emergency room again and we'd probably all be at the hospital at the same time. After my tests were over, I checked and they had gone home. I called her and found out my boss had taken her son to the emergency room for food poisoning and had left the E.R. about the time co-worker and her mom arrived. So, that is three of us out today. Don't know who's going to provide the news for today, but I cannot worry about it.

And if you wonder -- they heated the ultrasound goo so it felt pretty nice, a nd it smells like baby powder. Certainly nicer than the cold wet goo from my last ultrasound many years ago. Now that's an improvement, baby!

Tuesday's Tests

2008-11-17T23:27:00.002-06:00

In the morning I will have an MRI and an echocardiogram.

The changes in my medications have brought my blood pressure down significantly over the past few days, but it's still not in the optimal range. However, the drop is significant enough that it leaves me sleepy. My blood sugar levels are still high but showing some improvement too.

We'll know more after all the test results are back, of course. I am adjusting to a less vigorous schedule. I hope to find out if I am successful at finding some balance.

I've scheduled myself off tomorrow except for a couple of hours to cover a planning commission meeting in the early evening. I know, you all wish you were me.

It's crazy, but I actually enjoy attending these meetings and there will be some significant business handled Tuesday night. I just can't stay away.

Bad news from the doctor today

2008-11-14T12:46:00.002-06:00

The verdict at the doctor's office this morning was that I had a TIA (mini stroke) on Monday during the announcement about free city-wide wireless internet. The mayor was speaking when my whole right side went numb. I was writing notes furiously and suddenly became afraid that I was going to drop my pen. I knew if that happened I would not be able to pick it up.

It lasted only a few seconds --I actually never missed writing anything. And had I fallen over and hit the floor, all the ambulances and EMTs in town were right there in the same room with me, demonstrating the wireless mesh system.

After the announcement, I proceeded to City Hall to cover the city commissioners meeting.

What. A. Woman.

Tuesday when I got to work I didn't say anything because my boss's husband had a stroke Monday afternoon and everyone was talking about him. I couldn't really go and be a copy cat, right? So Tuesday I continued working and covered a lengthy evening meeting, after a long interview with the superintendent of schools Tuesday afternoon.

And, etc.

Yesterday I finally called and said I had to get in to the doctor today, and they got me in.

I have some residual right-side weakness and I'm scheduled for an MRI, echocardiogram and carotid artery dopplers before returning to the doctor's office on Dec. 2.

There will be huge changes coming -- first is they have ordered me to cut back to no more than 40 hours of work a week.
That will be a HUGE change from the 56 to 61 hours I work now.

The motto is: Work KILLS.

In support of love

2008-11-11T19:15:00.003-06:00

I just opened an e-mail from my cousin Michael, a gay man in California, with this link. Unlike Olbermann, I don't have to think hard to come up with the name of a gay person in my family or among my friends. I have had many, many gay friends throughout my life, and, indeed, many of my closest friends now are gay.

Michael and his partner John had hoped to marry this fall before Michael had to undergo some radical surgery and treatment for cancer. They postponed their wedding; now, with the passage of Proposition 8, they may not be able to marry until and unless it is overturned.

Two of my women friends here went to California in October to be married. The irony is they received their marriage certificate in the mail last Tuesday, the day Proposition 8 was passed. They, at least, have their certificate.

I am not gay. I am a straight, single female, divorced by choice and circumstance -- once married to a man, who, although not gay, was dealing with his own gender identity problems. The man I married no longer exists. Instead, the person I married is somewhere out there, living as a woman. I do not know where she is. I do not know if she is even still alive. Our lives are no longer connected, by my choice. All I can say is that I hope that person has found peace and love out there somewhere.

And I hope someday I find love too. Love everlasting, like Michael and John. Love everlasting, like Patricia and Gloria. Love everlasting, like Ron and John. Love everlasting, like Mildred and Donna. Love everlasting. Love recognized. Love that is stronger than disapproval from people who really don't even have a reason or a right to care or judge.Simply, love.

What business is it of ANYONE to deny anyone the right to love and marriage? What I don't understand is how two consenting adults loving each other threatens anyone else.

Chicken and Noodles

2008-11-09T20:29:00.002-06:00

I'm making my chicken and noodles tonight. I was going to make them last night but cratered before I had the chance. I've also been cleaning my kitchen, trying to eliminate "The Smell" I posted about previously. My fingers are getting pruney, but I'm enjoying a little domestic bliss this evening.

It seems so late, since the time change. It just gets dark so early now, but I guess I better get used to it now.

It's been kind of a productive day -- several loads of laundry done, plus I've been going through things and throwing out what I can. There's so much clutter, but I've made a dent in it. You will be glad to know that I found my third- and fourth-grade science reports, several junior high honors and my incredibly high Iowa test scores from ninth grade, just in case I have to prove something to someone some day.

I also found some photos and some greeting cards that I will be able to use before long. I once had the luxury of stocking up on such things -- it comes in handy now!

In my purging stage, I've made several trips out to the garbage cans. The sanitation truck will appreciate my efforts tomorrow.

I'm also thinking about making a skirt tonight. There are so many pretty and interesting new patterns -- I am addicted to this site: Sewing Pattern Review.com Absolutely addicted! Any of you who sew clothing might want to take a good look around there.

Alas, although I would love to try some of the new patterns, I have to use what is in my stash right now for economy's sake. The nice thing is, some of the details I am seeing in the new patterns can be used with what I have, with a little ingenuity. You might think that someone with incredibly high ninth-grade Iowa test scores could figure out some of this stuff.

We'll see!

Someone please explain

2008-11-09T16:37:00.002-06:00

Explain to me, please, how I can spend such few hours at home during the week (Monday through Saturday) and yet there is more housework to do on Sunday than I can possibly get done? Does the house dirty itself while I'm gone trying to make enough money to keep the utilities on? Not fair!

The math just doesn't add up. One person x 7 days should not equal four loads of laundry and two dishwashers full of dishes!

And please. Someone check out the peculiar smell in the kitchen for me. I'm afraid to look!

(Note: Please do not call adult protective services on me or code enforcement. Some statements could be slightly exaggerated for effect. Or not. And I'm not tellin'.)

Seriously. What IS THAT SMELL?

In Honor of President-Elect Barack Obama

2008-11-04T22:51:00.001-06:00

Voting can be very interesting

2008-11-04T13:03:00.001-06:00

I've never had such an interesting time at the polls! First, there was a woman there who was obviously distressed, crying as she went to put her ballot in the machine. A county election official was at the machine and asked the woman to put her ballot in the alternate slot so it could be hand-counted because there was some adjustment or check she was making to the machine. Anyway, this crying woman finally got her ballot put in and on the way out shouted "Everyone needs to pray because things are really messed up in this nation!" OK...
Meanwhile, a woman in front of me was not on the poll book. She whines "But I always come back here to vote!" Uh. Seems she's moved a few times since the last election. The poll workers called the county election office and discover the woman is now registered to vote at the technical school on the other side of town. "Oh!" she said. I don't know if they sent her away or allowed her to vote. I was ready to sign the book when a police officer showed up. All the election officials looked at him stupidly. Then he asked if the woman in black who just left was the one they called about. "Yes," one of them said. That's all. "Well, I can't hold her if I don't know what happened." Waits for answer. None is forthcoming. "So, is everything OK then?" he finally asks. They stare at him. Someone finally says they asked her to talk to the county election official who was there with the machine, but she wouldn't say anything.

"ohhhKay, then. I guess everything is OK," the patient officer says as he leaves.

I sign the book, and a second officer stops by on the same call. Asks if everything is OK and the poll watchers again are just sitting there looking at him.Like a cop always shows up on election day. Finally one of them says "Another officer was just here about that," one finally says.

"So, everything is OK now?" he asks.

"I guess," the poll watcher says.

I step over to my fine plywood voting booth, support it with my foot so it won't rock while I'm marking my ballot with the super official special pen. I finish and head to the machine with it. I turn in my pen to one of the dense poll watchers who is talking to the woman at the book who has failed to reregister. I say "Here's your pen back" and go ahead and insert my ballot. It says I am No. 13 for the morning. I wonder how accurate that is... just 13 in an hour? With all that's already happened? Anyway, I wait for my "I Voted" sticker. Pollwatcher finally looks at me and hands me a sticker. I turn to leave and she shouts at me "DID YOU TURN YOUR PEN IN? WHERE IS YOUR PEN?"

I snap back around and told her I had put it right in front of her while she was paying attention to the other people and ignoring me. Then I left.

It was all very exciting.

Happy Election Day!

2008-11-04T07:08:00.002-06:00

If you haven't voted already, GET OUT THERE and do the right thing. This is our future we're talking about. No excuses. Vote!

I've Been Tagged!

2008-10-31T12:01:00.002-05:00

Stranded on a desert island
I've been tagged by Kirsten for this meme.

First off, the rules:

You are stranded on a desert island for an indefinite amount of time. You can bring along five food items and are allowed one sentence to justify your decision. It is an island so assume plentiful fish, coconuts, and sea salt. Storage is not an issue, as you also have a large solar powered refrigerator. Play along, tag who you want, and link back!

Part of the difficulty here is, of course, limiting myself to five items. But it’s also that I can’t decide how practical to be. Ok, ok — it’s just a hypothetical, there’s no reason for me to go all logical, especially with the addition of the solar-powered fridge. I just can’t help it.

Also, in addition to the stated fish, coconuts, and salt, it’s probably a given that seaweed would be available. That’s good stuff, and good for you! But while most folks who play this game seem to want to take along an animal of some sort, I think I’ll stick with the ocean for my protein. There’s a lot of variety there, and finding forage for an animal might be difficult. (See, there I go with the practical.)

1. Watermelon. And not one of those "seedless" ones. I want one with the seeds so I can grow more.

2. Tomatoes. Also need to be the kind that will let me grow more.

3. Zucchini. See a theme here? Doesn't take much to grow this either.

4. Graham crackers. To use with the coconuts and the final item...

5. Chocolate. Enough to eat straight, or with the coconut and graham crackers!

Tagging: Erudite Redneck, Dr. Lobojo, Tech!

My car is home!

2008-10-29T22:09:00.002-05:00

It still smells of fresh paint, which is just like the smell of wet fingernail polish. My 13 1/2-year-old car looks almost new! It should. The driver's side was repaired and repainted in April after the February wreck. The passenger's side has just been repaired and repainted after the early October wreck. While it was already in the shop, I asked them to paint the front part of the roof, which has just recently been showing its age with damage to the paint. I attribute that to living in the shadow of both a refinery and a carbon black plant. There's a lot of corrosive materials in the air here. If it is doing that to the roof of my car, I hate to think what it's doing to my lungs.

Little damaged rent car has gone home to Enterprise tonight. They think they can have it repaired through a paintless dent removal process and then buff off the paint transfer from the late October wreck (yesterday). Everyone I've had to deal with, from the police officer to the municipal court clerk to the insurance companies to Enterprise have done everything they can to put me at ease and make me feel better.

It's just a little accident, they tell me. It's not an on-purpose. It happens. No one was hurt. The damage is minor.

All of this is true. It's just metal, in all cases. No one injured, Thank you God.

Of course I've gotten a load of grief from my co-workers, who have delighted in calling me "Crash" and recommending forms of protection from oversized training wheels to toilet-paper roll protective bumpers surrounding the car.

I'm kind of thinking about a novel costume for Halloween -- a bike helmet and an inflated inner tube that would deflect any incoming hazards.

If the adage about things coming in threes has any merit, I should be fine for another good long time.

Oh-- even though I pleaded no contest on my ticket for unsafe lane change, I am going to go to municipal court for two reasons: One, I can get a payment plan to split up my fine into three equal amounts; Two, I'll keep the ticket off my driving record, which means a LOT to me.

Things will be OK, but I do still have some tender feelings, despite all the good efforts to boost my spirits. This too shall pass, given enough time without any repeat performances.

On another positive note, gasoline here has dropped below $2 a gallon, so I can now afford to fill up my car. When it went to the shop, it was considerably higher!

This is unbelievable

2008-10-28T19:39:00.002-05:00

OK, so you know about my last wreck. Oh wait, NO YOU DON'T. It was today. In the rental car which I am still driving because MY car is STILL at the body shop.

Yep.

I stayed home today because my blood sugar was too high. So I spent the morning drinking a lot of water and peeing and then retested until it came down to a somewhat safer level. Then I decided to make a run to the grocery store for some food. I never made it. I got to the end of my street three blocks away, where it ends in one of the main collector streets. I'm just a block west of the main north-south highway, which is the main business road.

Anyway, as I was leaving my residential street and turning right, then trying to make the quick left to get in the left turn lane to the highway, IT HAPPENED. Crunch. There is a difference of opinion about who is at fault, but I got the ticket and the police officer spent sufficient time explaining it to me when he gave me the ticket for "improper lane change."

I swear to you I have gone through my whole life with no wrecks until I moved back here, and this now makes No. 3 since February. And it HAD to be in a rental car. I'm sickened.

The good news is, there were no injuries and the damage to the vehicles is very minor. The rental car has one dent which looks like it will easily pop out, and there is some minor paint transfer. I am hoping it can be buffed out. The other car has minor scratches and one small dent on the passenger side front fender.

Well, I guess having to take the blame for one of the three accidents may not be the worst thing in the world. It sure is better than having half the car demolished. I can certainly speak to that times two.

So, I never did make it to the grocery store. I am thinking about giving it another try now, because I am hungry. Should I chance it?

Yipee!

2008-10-16T21:20:00.002-05:00

They are going to fix my car. It should be ready next week. It's a little hard getting used to a different car, especially one I will have the use of only for a little while. I've got a Ford Focus as a rental, and as nice as it is, it is a Ford and I am a Honda girl.

I've had only two cars since 1987 -- that's 21 years. Both have been Honda Civics. For a while I had another car, my mom's Honda Accord. I sold it to a former co-worker, though, because I couldn't justify keeping two cars and I preferred my own.

Anyway, it's been a busy day at work and I'm a little drained so I'm going to be a little early.

Come back tomorrow -- I'll have some news to share about a project going on here. If I'm lucky there will be photos as well! And I'm not talking about the tap-dancing senior citizens who are visiting our senior center from Yukon! Though there MAY be photos of them as well.

For now, sweet dreams!

Heartburn

2008-10-15T12:43:00.002-05:00

Greetings! I'm stealing an extra few minutes on my lunch hour to post from home. I came home for lunch (actually, to get a break from the office. Too much stress there.) I haven't eaten, but that's OK because I still have a raging case of heartburn.

Instead, I kind of got lost in a spur-of-the-moment attack on my office space. It's a nice little room, or it could be if it hadn't been loaded to the gills with stuff for the past year-plus. I dragged a lot of stuff out of there in the past half-hour-ish. Now it has the potential to be a great room.

I've identified some key problem areas for myself -- these are the categories of things which overwhelm my life. Now, I have a theory that once identified, I can deal with these problem areas, one at a time.

Here they are:

1. Books. They are taking over my life. Subcategory: Magazines.
2. Fabric. I could sew all my fabric together and cover the planet twice.
3. Yarn. Yeah. I could knit a sweater for the moon and still have more than a human can use.
4. Kitchen items, specifically dishes. Have I confessed here before? I have 12 sets of dishes. Right now I'm using my least favorite because I haven't gotten through all the boxes on the back porch to find my favorites.

When I get home from work this evening I'll return to my office space and work on creating a haven there for myself. I will also schedule a time to have some extra phone jacks installed so that I can get my laptop off the kitchen table.

Part of why I hate living here is that I have nothing that functions as it should. This is a giant step. I will work on conquering the four areas of excess and establishing an office that is good for me. The rest of the place will take care of itself after this is done.

Stay tuned to this station for the latest in updates. And no, I'm not just doing this because my car is in the shop and I'm waiting to hear if it lives or dies. Well, maybe.

The car

2008-10-13T15:30:00.002-05:00

Now my widdle car won't start. I had to walk to work today. Thunderstorms are moving in -- I have to cover a city commissioners' meeting at city hall tonight so I'll be walking home after dark, hoping there isn't lightning to go with the rain.

I've talked with the insurance company representing the woman who hit me. I have little to no confidence in their claims adjustor in Oklahoma City, who didn't even know where my town is. "Are you near Tulsa? Can you take your car there for an adjustor to see?" Der, no. I'm 100 miles from anywhere, and my car will not start now because your client hit it and tore it up.

"Oh. Well. That's too far away for us to send an adjustor to. You'll probably have to get some estimates. And then when I complete my investigation, if we decide our insured was at fault, we'll pay $23 a day for a rental car while it's repaired."

So... I have to wait until you get around to it before I can get a rental car, even though I'm having to walk to work in thunderstorms?

"Yes ma'am. We'll contact you when I complete my investigation."

You, who doesn't even know where my town is, you are doing the investigation?

I talked to the local agent after talking to this cheesehead. She said "That's crazy. We have an adjustor up here every Tuesday!"

Well, the local adjustor just called me back and told me to go ahead and get my car in to the repair shop. I can use the one close to my house and they'll include the towing as part of the claim. I still don't have authorization for a rental car, though. Peachy.

If It's Not One Thing, SMACK!

2008-10-03T14:35:00.002-05:00

Greetings, from your blog hostess.
I want to tell you something. I'm 53 years old, and until February of this year I had never had a car wreck. That changed one fateful night as I was driving home from a board meeting in Stillwater, OK, and hit ice on a bridge over the Salt Fork River south of Ponca City. You may recall my blog about that roller-coaster ride, wherein I slid around, spun, hit the side of the bridge head-on, feared being flung over the side, slid the front of my car down the length of the bridge for a while before spinning some more, then was T-boned from another backwards vehicle which also spun out behind me. It was an adventure, I tell you! A true E-ticket ride!

Well, my friends, today I was driving to work and playing my usual morning game of counting the number of cars that I had to wait for at intersections on my 10-block commute. I was a block away from the office with a perfect Zero score (number of cars I had to wait to clear my path). Until.

*SMACK!* In front of the cable TV office a woman in a much larger car pulled out like I wasn't there and hit my car. Not just a tap, no. It wasn't a creep-out backing situation. She flat did not see me, pulled out as though her path were entirely clear, hit me at my passenger side headlight and continued to tear up my car all the way back to the tail light. Every inch of the passenger side of my car is damaged.

The car most certainly will be totaled this time. We were barely under the limit in February when it was the two doors on my driver's side. This time the damage is much more extensive and eight months later my car wouldn't be worth as much.

This time I am a little stiff -- my neck would do well with a heating pad and a beer. And a nice nap.

I'm taking this personally. I believe it's a sign from above that I need to flee this town.
"GET OUT!"

Squeak! Squeak! Can you hear me now?

2008-09-24T18:09:00.004-05:00

Hello everyone! I'm still dragging around a bit. I'm getting better, but still am not fully well. Mostly I'm getting through the work day and then coming home to go to bed. I'm even missing a concert at my church tonight by the Ugandan Orphans' Choir. It would be great to go hear them, but I just do not have the energy. I've been missing a lot of church lately.

I also still have very little voice. Laryngitis is something I never got until just a couple of years ago. I hate the squeaky attempt to speak, knowing that I'm wasting my time and no one can hear me anyway. That certainly has contributed to my hibernation mode.

Tonight I stopped by the grocery store. I'm going to attempt to cook -- maybe -- later this evening. First I'm going to drink a Diet Coke and probably catch a quick nap.

In addition to feeling punk, I've had to pull extra duty because of a co-worker being out with her very sick mother. Co-worker had to leave the office today and just minutes later I heard an ambulance dispatched to their house to take her to the emergency room. I'm trying to do everything I can to cover the major parts of her beat on top of mine. There certainly is a lot going on and it won't be long before I drop one of the spinning plates. Not long at all, I'm afraid.

Well, I don't suppose any of this is new -- it's really been going on for a while but I felt like I needed to check in again.

If I actually summon the strength to do it, I'm going to marinate boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a combination of lemon juice and soy sauce, then roll them in seasoned bread crumbs and bake. I'll make a baked potato for the side and slice up a tomato.

Right now, though, I really, really need a beverage and a nap. It's warm enough I'll probably crash on the couch with the front door open for a while.

Hope you're all doing well and enjoying fall!

Checking in

2008-09-15T13:35:00.002-05:00

I'm alive. Not completely well yet from my upper respiratory infection. I still have a lot of residual coughing and some head-spinning from my cures and vapors. I can sleep at most an hour or two at a time before the coughing wakes me again, so this week has not been a great one. I worked from home last Tuesday morning and then didn't come out of the house until Thursday; I've worked as much as I can, including on Saturday. I'm having to do more than I would in this condition because I'm also having to take up the slack for a co-worker whose mother is very ill with cancer.
Yesterday I stayed house-bound, but at least I was able to shine up the bathroom to a high degree. Everything is clean -- I even hand-scrubbed the floor and cleaned the venetian blinds. Shower curtain and rug washed. Fixtures and walls scrubbed and polished. Every cubic inch is clean, clean at last!

Now, someone find me a replicator so I can just push a button and have the rest of the house equally clean, please!

We've had a lot of flooding in the county this week. The South Fork River is currently at 25.8 feet -- flood stage is 17 feet. There were a lot of emergency rescues around the county this weekend -- people trapped in chest-high waters.

The thing I reported on that tickled me most this weekend was someone who drove a car through a local cabinet maker's shop.

"I shouldn't have been in the car," the errant driver told me after I got photos of the vehicle still inside the business, poking through the wall.

No kidding.

"It's going to be in the G.D. NEWSpaper!" the car's owner wailed at him (while wailing on him).

"I'm sorry, I really am. But that's what happens when someone drives a car through a building," I told her.

"Did you get good pictures of my car?" she asked.

Priorities. It's all about priorities, isn't it?

Down for day two

2008-09-10T08:17:00.003-05:00

I've succumbed to some sort of illness. Yesterday I did a few hours of work from home before giving up -- made my deadline on a couple of stories and then died. (That is why they call it a deadline, isn't it?)

Today, I can't even rally enough to do that much. I'm just up for a few minutes right now to breathe. I've called in to the boss and will be crawling back in bed. I particularly hate being unable to work today because my good co-worker is out of town, taking her mother to her first chemotherapy session. This is going to be hard enough for her, having to drive 100 miles to the big city, finding the right building at the big hospital and then going through all that, then having to drive her mom home, unsure how she will react. Then the next couple of days are going to be rough. This cycle is just starting and will continue for several weeks until the tumor has shrunk enough to allow surgery. And then, the "fun" really begins.

This will cause a hardship on our small staff. Most of the remaining chowderheads have already chimed in to say "I'm NOT doing it" when it comes to her work. Well, right now I CAN'T do it, and someone is going to have to suck it up and just do it. Sorry, I'm getting a little peeved about this.
And I'm too sick to be getting upset on top of it.

Food-wise, I'll be scrambling to find things to eat here at the house while I'm down. I think there's still some soup around, and I have milk (if it hasn't expired) Plenty to make-do with if I just think about it. There will be no feasting until I'm better, though. Heck, for that matter there won't be any feasting for a couple of months because of some huge bills I've got to work into the strained budget. No, I'm not going down that path today!

I'm going back to bed for now, folks. Hmm. It looks foggy out there through the slit in the curtains. Maybe I'm not missing much today after all.
I'll sure be glad when I'm no longer barking like a dog and my nose isn't wet any more.

It must be one of two things

2008-09-08T19:47:00.002-05:00

Either it's:
1) the change of seasons, or
2) everybody is hungry.

Most of the blogs I frequent have been synching to one common thread this week, particularly today: Comfort food!

There's been banana bread at Posie Gets Cozy; creamy carrot soup at Pioneer Woman as she cooks with her kids; scrambled eggs with prosciutto over at Drew's "How to Cook Like Your Grandmother" (Men who cook -- and men who eat: Check out Drew's blog and tell me you aren't slobbering on the screen.) and a GRREAT essay on home cooking vs. eating crap at Crazy Aunt Purl's place.

There's a new hope in America, my friends. Real food is making its way back to our tables, replacing "food by-products" that came packaged in styrofoam and cardboard for lo, too many years.

Real food has roots in its roots, literally. Real food is grown in the dirt, and is harvested by people, washed and eaten fresh. You can tell it is real food because there's not a long list of things typed on the side of it. It's food, not chemical formulations.

And it is GOOD.

Often I buy my beef from a local meat market/butcher shop where I know the cattle are locally raised in small operations rather than large feed lot operations. But still. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that most of the beef I eat just willingly jumps into plastic-wrapped packages.

I wish economics would still allow most of our food to come from small, wholesome operations, but I think those days are passed forever. I remember our extended family's farm, where cattle and hogs and chickens were raised along with crops. More than enough to feed our own family, it was enough to provide my uncles and grandparents a living and good food for a region. Now corporate farms are taking over.

Anyway, my point was: It's time for GOOD food. Slow food. Make some; share some. Tell me what you're eating now that it's turning cooler! Visit these other blogs and take a look at what they are eating. Maybe it will inspire you, too!

Greetings again! Today is Sept. 6

2008-09-06T11:03:00.002-05:00

Although no one has asked me to post again, I thought I would anyway. Hey, I can... it's my blog!

I've dropped out for a bit because my inner peace has been disturbed. The world has be out of kilter here and my spirit and energy have been drained. At this point I'm thinking that I've got to try the "fake it to make it" approach and start visioning life the way I want it, rather than the way it is.

When I feel like this I go searching for beautiful, peaceful, creative blogs. I like to read about people who are living a gentle life, who feel rooted and loved and through whom good energy flows. Those are the things I want.

I yearn for soft calico fabrics to replace the harsh, scratchy burlap of life. Beautiful dinner tables to replace the starving spirit. The warmth of puppies snuggled up on the couch beside their person to replace the emptiness of the house.

Sometimes I make a little progress through such daydreams. Creativity is its own medicine -- right along the curative powers of laughter. I think they go hand-in-hand.

At times like this I search for soothing colors and textures. How providential that fall is approaching -- the word "comforter" is so rich in meaning in so many dimensions right now. A comforter offers warmth, softness, tactile pleasure. But there's also a deeper quality that comes with it, one that touches the spirit in its own special healing way. It offers a cocoon in which to hibernate during the low seasons, whether that be created by harsh weather or a harsh world.

Now is the time when I pull out my favorite collection of "home" books, too. Books like Alexandra Stoddard's "Creating a Beautiful Home;" or Terry Willits' "Creating a SenseSational Home." Similar names, similar ideas. The home appeals to our physical senses as well as provides shelter from the outside world. Sometimes we forget how important it is that our homes appeal to those senses through things such as light, smells, sounds, tastes and touch. In this thread of thought, the "extras" like candles, flowers, pretty dishes and soft bedding are not extras, but essentials to our wellbeing.

And there's where I've been negligent for the past year. All these "extras" have been boxed up or piled up where I can neither use nor enjoy them. I've been living in a hovel, not a home. Some of that is changing. Two weekends ago I hooked up my electronics so that I can use my stereo and the DVD player/VCR. I still don't have cable, so I can't watch television (what a pity during this political season) but I can use the television to watch movies, and I have taken advantage of that.

I've put away piles of books into real bookcases, which has decreased the clutter in my "living" room. There is still a ways to go, but there has been progress. At this point, I need to go through the titles and pull out books that I don't like, won't read, don't need. Others can take their place and I can move on, creating more spaces and making the house more comforting.

I wish this wasn't such a long journey, but I guess in some ways the journey is the fun part. Taking a mess and turning it into a home should give a sense of accomplishment, peace and self love. We'll continue to see how it goes.

Greeetings to all my visitors

2008-08-20T07:25:00.002-05:00

I've just checked the report from Sitemeter, which is very cool. It gives me a statistical report of the number of visitors to the site, but most cool is the world map that pinpoints where my visitors live.

So good morning and hello to those of you in Ireland and Mozambique and Indonesia who have visited today! And hello to my U.S. visitors in Sherman, Texas; Los Angeles and Sacramento, Calif., and Sioux City, Iowa!

It is amazing how electrons can make the world a smaller place -- a neighborhood. Welcome, neighbors.

And now, I must be off to work! Back later!

Thursday Morning Rain

2008-08-14T09:07:00.003-05:00

It's raining this morning. It's that glorious sort of "break-the-August-heat" rain that drops the temperatures about 20 degrees and makes the hot pavement smell so good.

On days like this it is really hard to come to work. These are days for reading in bed, with a window open slightly (just enough for the smell and sounds to come through without the water.)

It's the kind of day for baking bread, making soup and sewing. Or ironing.

Yeah, I said it. Rainy days are perfect days for ironing. I really kind of like ironing, when it's not overwhelming or urgent. I did quite a lot this past weekend. Now that I have the ironing board set up in my dining room it's easier to throw something on there and give it a good steamy press.

My closets are filled up again. Sometimes I don't realize just how many clothes I have when everything is stuffed into hampers and baskets or living in the dryer. When everything is pressed and organized in the closet, it is easy to be grateful for the blessings of plenty. And how nice it is to have sections of skirts all together and sections of slacks and then shirts. I am grateful indeed.

Do rainy days trigger memories or attitudes in you like this?

Searching through the stash

2008-08-10T20:46:00.002-05:00

Not what some of you may be thinking -- it's the fabric stash! Here's a photo I took last night which shows just a fraction of my stash:

(click to see the full photo)

I also pulled out another big stack from a box still residing on my back porch. One piece was sadly sun-faded where the light has leaked in over the past year. I am hoping I can still use most of what was there.

Along with the fabrics I've rediscovered armloads of patterns for things never made (yet). I ache to do some sewing! Even if it's a simple skirt or a pillowcase for ConKerr Cancer (A Case for Smiles).

Since I'm in the midst of re-collecting and re-organizing my stash, however, I've not made it to the sewing process this weekend. It is unbelievable the things I own that I have forgotten about -- and the things I remember that I have not yet found again. I do not know which pain is worse.

I have an idea for a stash challenge, however. In addition to making pillowcases, I'm feeling impressed upon to issue myself a "100 skirt challenge" to make 100 skirts in various sizes for girls served by one of our church missions. I'd like to be able to do it with what I have in hand -- I think I could make a big dent in the project with what's in the pipeline.

I've read of another woman who did a "100 skirt challenge" like this. She paired the skirts with coordinating T-shirts in matching sizes to provide a complete outfit for each girl in her project group. I forget now who her beneficiary group was, but it was a children's home of some sort with her religious affiliation. It really doesn't matter because there is always, always a need somewhere for such kindnesses. Even if it's the local clothing closet for a public school, there is always a child in need somewhere nearby.

I remember so very, very clearly when I was in grade school. My sixth-grade teacher and the janitor's wife worked together to make sure everyone in our school had appropriate clothing to wear in order to attend. On top of that, my teacher and her sister made clothing for the Baptist Children's Home. Every morning before school she would make a dress for a girl. Every single dress she made was completely different from every other dress she made, so the girls wouldn't feel like they were just getting some mass-produced cookie-cutter outfit. They had different materials, different patterns, variations on the patterns and different trims. One dress, every morning, from each of the sisters. Imagine making nearly 400 dresses (maybe more -- in the summers they had more time for sewing!) each year to clothe a girl in need!

The thing is, they didn't stop with the girls. They also made shirts for the boys, back when boys wore woven shirts with buttons and collars.

What discipline -- and discipleship -- these women modeled.

More about ConKerr Cancer -- a Case for Smiles. This is a project in which the participants make pillow cases for children with cancer. Upon each child's admission -- every admission -- to the hospital for treatment, they are allowed to select a new pillowcase made by one of the volunteers in the project.

I started out as the state chairman for Oklahoma, but I am having to pass this responsibility on to someone else because of my difficult work schedule and my distance from Oklahoma City, where Children's Hospital is located. I've collected a lot of pillowcases locally, and several have been sent to me from people who aren't local who read about this project in a national sewing magazine or through Martha Stewart's show and magazine.

I have real mixed feelings about not working on this project. It needs to be run by someone with the time, as well as the desire. I have the desire but not the time. I can do my part by doing some sewing and preparation of pillowcases and by getting out of the way to allow someone else the blessing of coordinating the state program. I have two people in mind -- one in Oklahoma City and one in Tulsa. I am checking with the originator of the project to see if we can have two groups in Oklahoma, one in each of the metropolitan areas.

This project started with Cindy Kerr, whose son was a cancer patient. To learn more, please check this link: ConKerr Cancer

A great, fun, colorful, cheerful pillowcase for a sick child is such a small, easy thing to provide. If you'd like more information, please feel free to leave a comment here if the linked site doesn't answer your questions. The reward for this is HUGE compared to the minor effort.

I'd also like to hear from you in the comments if you've got a project of your own that uses your creative gifts to help someone else. What are you inspired to do to make the world just that much better? Speak up! You never know what idea you might trigger for someone else!

To the Farmers' Market!

2008-08-02T13:17:00.003-05:00

Click to see the whole photo.

This morning's haul from the farmers' market about three blocks from my house. Some of these items will find their way into a 15-bean soup planned to cook later as it cools down from today's expected high of 103. The rest will probably go into a large salad. Together these will feed me for most of the week, I expect. The jar of chow-chow? I bought that as a sentimental purchase because it reminds me of people I knew in my childhood -- neighbors who canned and made such things. I'm not sure this recipe is anywhere close to what they made, but my memory from being a 10-year-old is a might lapsing when it comes to homemade relish recipes. I seem to remember the chow-chow of my youth being heavy on green tomatoes. We'll see later if the taste of this jar brings back memories.

There are still some things I need to pick up at the store which aren't available at my local farmers' market. After all, it's just a tiny market. Today was a big day with MAYBE 8 trucks set up. What peaches were available were small and wormy. No pie from them. Makes me miss my peach tree at my last abode.

We tend to be heavy on things like squash, cucumbers, cat-faced tomatoes and onions. There are a few bakers who tempt me with homemade rolls, cinnamon rolls, loaves of fresh bread. I can make my own much more cheaply. I might whomp up some nearly kneadless bread today so I can bake it tomorrow. I've posted the recipe before, I believe. At least I posted photos of making it. Home Made Bread
Looks like I'll have to dig up that recipe since I didn't post amounts... what kind of recipe-sharer am I? I'll post if I bake it.

Friday evening

2008-08-01T20:07:00.002-05:00

Ah, yes! We made it through another week without murder! Yes!
It was a nice, abbreviated work day. Friday is our day when we get breakfast at the office and four of us, at least, eat together. Usually I'm the runner who goes to pick it up at the cafe, so that gets me out for a little while. Then the eating thing is a little more time away from the desk.

I got a few things done in the rest of the morning, then had a meeting at city hall with the historic preservation advisory panel. It's one of my favorite city committees. It meets at noon. Today's meeting was very interesting -- and it was over by just after 1 p.m.

I grabbed an icy drink at the cafe catty-corner from city hall then headed home to lounge, to nap, to read on a novel by one of my favorite writers. It has done me good.

Tomorrow is one of my rare Saturdays off, so there will be more lounging, more napping, more reading. And perhaps a few other enjoyable diversions. It will be nice to have some long hours of solitary time. I think that people need more time and distance apart when it's this hot and humid. And it is ALWAYS humid here. Having people nearby is just too much of a stressor on top of the climate.

Maybe this weekend will give me enough time to patch myself back together to face another week.

I've also got a lot of topics in my mental notebook that I want to mull over this weekend too. It's nice to be able to make an appointment with myself for mulling.

Hope you all are having a pleasant Friday evening and are looking forward to a restful weekend.

Thursday night

2008-07-31T21:50:00.002-05:00

Just. One. More. Day. to. This. Week.

Thank goodness. I so need some time away from work. Today was nothing but irritation piled up on aggravation. My patience, which has always been the only thin thing about me, has just all but worn through.

Nice thing about tomorrow is that I have a meeting to cover at noon, so I'll be out of the office for a couple of hours. That will give me a bit of a respite.

I finished a big project this week -- it's one of those special section things that comes in the Sunday paper that people just pull out and throw away without even looking at. But by golly I wrote every dang story in it and put the section together, so it's all mine (except for two tiny fillers that I edited down from wire stories. Not bad for a 24-page tab.) Anyway, it's one of those thankless worthless time-consuming jobs we all have.

I think most of us in the office are having a major crank-fest this week. One person in particular seems to be taking great joy in pissing everyone off. You might guess it's the one person who doesn't lift a finger to do anything. So I daydream terrible things and make myself as scarce as possible so I don't follow through. And I pray for Saturday's quick arrival.

Sorry to be so down and grumpy, but that's the way things are here for now. I'm sure that at some point things will be more positive. I'll definitely will let you know when that moment comes. It's only fair!

Tuesday Morning

2008-07-29T07:21:00.004-05:00

It's one of those mornings where it's not as early, clock-wise, as it seems.
We've had a rain, apparently recently ended. The sky is still mostly gray with clouds, with just slivers of silver trying to break through in the east.
I've just had to go out to the garage to grab an armful of clothes out of the dryer, hoping that I've scooped up at least one outfit in the bunch that I can wear to work in a few minutes.
To get to the garage I have to go out the back door of my kitchen, across the screened-in back porch.
This morning the air is so cool and so fresh from the rain that I just want to stay on the back porch and absorb this fresh beginning like a sponge. My spirit needs to soak this up. I'm going through a dry patch -- wrung out and growing a bit crunchy.
Part of me so wants to call in to work to say I'll either be late or I won't be in at all... but what would that call sound like?
"Sorry boss, can't make it in today. No, I'm not exactly sick. I'm just calling in rainy. See you when it's nasty hot again."

Meh. I've heard worse excuses when I was the one people called in to.

And now, I'm off to check that pile of laundry and find out what I'll be wearing today. Here's hoping you found matching socks today.

Sunday night

2008-07-27T22:22:00.003-05:00

The weekend is winding down and I'm trying to get pulled together to start another week in just a few hours. I need to throw a load of laundry in so I'll have something to wear tomorrow. Seems like laundry is the thing that perpetually gets the short end of the stick around here, getting done only when it becomes a crisis. No, wait. That doesn't make it much different from everything else. *Le sigh.*

I mowed the lawn tonight and finished just as my light was running out. Clouds covered the sky just as I was putting the mower away -- it would be fine with me if we got some rain tonight. The soil is dried out and clumping, but I'm not a grass waterer type person. I really think the water should be saved for people.

I'm sure my neighbors are probably glad that I finally broke down and mowed. I'm not sure how long it has been -- certainly longer than they would all go since the last mowing, but it's dry enough that it's really healthier not to cut it too short when it's this hot. That's my position and I'm stickin' to it!

Anyway. I did get a good long nap in this afternoon. I had thought about going in to the office this afternoon right after church, but I would have had to have gotten there before the circulation guy left and locked the building. I don't have a key. And I started thinking about it, hard. Then I decided that Sunday is my Sabbath, the only day I don't work, and I was not going to start violating that just to get ahead a little. My attitude is poor enough about things right now (which some of my astute friends have picked up on... is it THAT obvious?) I don't need to succumb to that kind of self-punishment.

This evening I also was able to clean some trash off of my screened-in porch. That gave me a little more room for maneuvering out there, so maybe I'll get to sort through some more of the stuff which STILL lives out there. You would think that a year would have been more than enough time to sort, purge and put away, but not for me. I moved in on Aug. 3, so I still have a week. Ha.

Oh. Last week was the garage sale. The one that was supposed to be my garage sale here at my house, which then became a group garage sale. We then were going to have it at a friend's office with a lot of traffic and a large drive. Then it moved to her house because she had furniture to sell and didn't want to have to load it up. Uh. OK. She lives in the country across the river in the neighboring county. I wound up making $7.

Yeah. That's going to help with my hospital bill.

Why do I do this? *Le Sigh.*

Good news: Wednesday is payday, and since it is the third payday of the month, it won't have the usual deductions. So it should be slightly larger. Plus, as usual, I have plenty of overtime. This will help a little. I just hope it's more than $7. Ha.

I should get the laundry going and start thinking about going to bed. Here's hoping you have a fresh start to your week tomorrow and that you enjoy the last week of July 2008. Cheers!

Taste and See That the Lord Is Good

2008-07-09T21:34:00.002-05:00

All day long this verse has been running through my head as I would catch a few seconds here and there to reflect on my weekend trip to Missouri.

See, this happens every time I go up there. My Aunt Dot has such a God-granted gift of hospitality and especially of cooking for people that I am drawn into an altered state on every visit. I love seeing her garden, but what really gets to me is looking in her refrigerators and pantries. She has two refrigerators upstairs. There's another out in the machine shop for my uncle and his special beverages that aren't allowed in Dot's house. And I think there is another freezer down in the basement. I haven't been down there in 40-plus years.

Anyway, Dot is the epitome of a prepared woman. At any given moment, even at the age of 79, she can prepare and take a meal to someone who is sick or bereaved. She could, on an hour's notice, put together a family dinner for 15 people or more, depending on who drags friends along.

We're not talking about fast food or junk, folks. We're talking about REAL food. Fresh veggies from her own garden or from a neighbor. Home-made dishes. Only in the past few years has she started keeping a few frozen commercial dinners in her kitchen freezer for lunches when she simply doesn't have the strength or energy to cook.

This woman cooks three meals a day and ALWAYS always always has leftovers ready to send home with anyone who may drop by and need something to eat. My cousin who lives nearby is her most usual beneficiary -- cousin is proud to say she never gets too close to the stove to cook, but just try keeping her out of Dot's fridge. HA.

When I arrived on Friday, we had leftover roast beef sandwiches. Divine beyond the scope of human understanding! Deviled eggs, made from eggs from Bill Brightwell's chickens. They will be served at every meal Dot makes. Fresh green beans from her garden. Salad. Freshly made cole slaw using a neighbor's cabbage. A lemony cream cheese dessert she made for guests at lunch. Maybe some cut-up watermelon or cantaloupe. Freshly brewed iced tea or lemonade.

Breakfast includes pumpkin bread she makes for my visits. These are always cooked in coffee cans to create a round loaf with ridges around them. The slices are slightly less than a half-inch thick, perfectly even. The whole loaf is cut in half so the pieces resemble a D. The meal also includes a choice of cold cereals, toast, fresh fruit (blueberries this week!) Uncle Jean always has cooked prunes. And the coffee pot is on for those who want a cup.

Lunch is similar to dinner -- always fresh, always home made. Always a reminder of God's extravagant love for us.

So when I return from these trips, there's usually a pack of food that comes back with me. This time it was a few leftover pieces of chicken my cousin from Atlanta made for our supper one night, plus a big zip bag full of green beans. Denise picked five gallons of beans off Dot's plants Saturday morning so they simply HAD to come with me so there would be room for more through the week.

And the other thing that comes with me is this altered state. It's a renewed appreciation for the food of the earth that God Himself provides, with no preservatives, no artificial colors, no added sugar or fake sweeteners. And as if I'm in a zombie trance, I'm drawn to the produce section at the store. Tonight I bought blueberries, Ranier cherries, four different colors of peppers, corn on the cob ... well, you get the idea. I also had some fresh tilapia for supper and a little bowl of the cherries for dessert. Oh, the energy that filled me up was unbelievable.

This is exactly the kind of holy moments I wanted this blog to be about when I started it. If you'll note the header again, you'll get it.

All day, that verse was filling my head -- Taste and see that the Lord is Good. I couldn't quite place where it is found, until I was flipping through my new Gooseberry Patch catalog that came in today's mail.

Do you suppose it was a God wink when I found it on a Thanksgiving platter in the catalog? Taste and See That the Lord Is Good -- Psalm 34:8.

Monday Post #1

2008-07-07T23:40:00.004-05:00

I've finally had a chance to do some shooting, so I have new photos! And I'm posting them!

You know the secret -- click on the photos to see the whole thing. What you see isn't what you get, necessarily.

These are from my weekend trip to see my aunt and uncle north of Kansas City, Mo. They are all at the family farm.

This was my grandparents' house. It is right across the road from my aunt and uncle. I realized tonight I didn't take a photo of their house. It's one my uncle built by hand. A mid-century modern 1950s house with a flat slanted roof.

The farm has been sold to different farmers in the area since my aunt and uncle retired from farming. They owned the land (a LOT of land) with another uncle and his wife. The sale was so they could equitably split the estate. No one feels like things were done correctly, so they probably were.

It was harvest time for the wheat while I was there. Combining:

Sunday morning the farmer was raking the straw into windrows. Later he came through with the baler which gathered up the straw and bundled it into the great big round bales and then pooped them out of the back of the machine.

The old dinner bell is a multi-generational relic. It really was used for decades to call the farm hands to dinner.

My aunt's garden. It's small this year. Tomatoes, green beans, corn, onions and radishes.

Please Farmer McGregor! Please don't throw me in that briar patch!

Her flowers:

Thanks for visiting with me. I didn't take my camera to the fireworks at the next tiny town over, but they were the BEST fireworks ever.

Off to Missouri!

2008-07-04T08:44:00.002-05:00

Happy holiday, my friends. I'm heading to the family farm just north of Kansas City International Airport to visit my aunt & uncle and their daughter who is in from Atlanta for the weekend.

It's a normal "traveling day" for me -- not an early start like I always have dreamed of. Not packed. Not sure what clothes I have that are clean. It must be nice sometimes to have a plan for daily living. I've heard of such things and even pretended a time or two to try it out. But right now? I'm not fighting nature. Just rolling with the flow and trying to keep the stomach acids under control instead of stressing about my imperfections.

Hey. I'm old and getting older. I'm tired of constantly feeling guilty about these things. So here's my declaration of independence today:

I have dirty dishes. It's OK.
My laundry needs to be washed. It's OK.
I'm not packed. It's OK. It's just a two-night weekend trip.
I didn't start driving at 6 a.m. It's OK. I was asleep then.
I need to shower. It's OK. That's just a 10 minute task, more or less.
I do not drive straight through. I stop at almost every opportunity. It's OK. It's faster to stop than to have a disaster because I didn't.

I am a grownup. I am 53 years old now. I can make my own rules.

(On the positive side: I am leaving with my bed made and my car empty, instead of looking like a mobile trash dump. I might stop at the vacuum at the gas station and do a quick hit even. That would be nice.)

You have a HAPPY, independent and self-directed day today, you hear? See you when I get back!

OK, I feel better. Plus, I just have to tell you...

2008-06-30T14:55:00.002-05:00

Thanks to those of you who commented on the previous post. Sorry for being a bit petulant this morning.

It's been one of my "peculiar" days. I honestly don't know if other people experience these type of events, but often I feel a synchronicity with the universe with odd events that really do all tie together. This is one of those days.

A week or so ago my best friend from childhood e-mailed to say she would be out of touch for awhile making a final visit to her mother, who was expected to pass within the week. I kept waiting for some news. This morning I saw it, in Sunday's paper -- her mother's obituary. Peggie died on Thursday; the funeral was in Missouri yesterday afternoon, but the graveside service is this afternoon here. Of course I will be there. I'm just so glad I happened to see the obit.

Now, my friend and I have shared some uncanny timing on other of life's milestones. Her dad died in July 1976. My dad died exactly a month later.

And, oddly, today is my dad's birthday. It doesn't surprise me in the least that Peggie's passing ties in in that same odd way.

After my dad died and my mother and brother were left alone to mourn in the family house (I was heading back to my last semester at OU), my friend and her fiance showed up at the house with an Irish setter named Barney. He was a stray, and my friend said "We just need a place for him to stay while we try to find the owner, before we take him to the pound." Yeah, my friend's not one bit stupid. She knew that dog was exactly what my mother needed. She spoiled and pampered that dog for the next 10 years or so.

And so, in serendipitous style a stealth dog followed a coworker and me back to the office after lunch. We don't know when the dog fell in with us; I just happened to notice her suddenly acting like "maybe they won't notice me if I just act like I'm one of the girls." Back at the office I found a large plastic bowl that I filled with cool water. She came to me and drank from my hand, then sat on my foot and lapped up a little more water. Then she laid down on my foot. She loves me.

She wandered off so that I could go on in to the office; she made friends in the back by the press room too. We called the local radio stations and animal control and described her in case an owner is looking for her. A while ago someone down the block called and asked animal control to pick her up so she wouldn't get hit by a car.

I think I'll be keeping an eye out on this sweetheart. If no one claims her I will bring her home with me. I think that's the way it's supposed to be.

Oh, by the way. She had on a leopard print collar edged in pink, but there were no tags. If you have an animal, PLEASE TAG THEM in case they get lost!

That's it.

2008-06-30T09:42:00.002-05:00

I get called "stale" by Junior the Bear, my best bear buddy in blogdom. Nothing but a few responses on the past several posts, except from all the nice people who saw the award post.

People are busy. It's summer. No one has time. No one is interested in what's happening here.

Junior's right, I guess. Maybe I am stale from working 60+ hours a week and not having much going on outside of work. Maybe the dog days of summer are here. And here I am without a hound.

My best friend from childhood lost her mother last week and the graveside service will be here this afternoon. I know only accidentally because of spotting the obituary a day late. I'll be there this afternoon, though. Our homes were interchangeable as we grew up. From back door to back door took us about 23 seconds -- yes, we timed how long it took to run out the back, across the street and three houses down through the alley.

And I'm mourning again the loss of my young soldier a year ago. Derek was like a nephew to me and he was killed a year ago by and IED in Falujah. His funeral was July 3. This is yet another somber holiday.

I had hoped to start a local news blog but given that no one's reading this one, I see little point in launching a new venture at this point.

Maybe it's the humidity that's really got me down today. Or maybe it's this darn echo around here.

I promised you fire photos

2008-06-25T19:47:00.003-05:00

Since I promised to post some of my fire photos, I've been unbelievably swamped. However, with the escape of the primary suspect, the fire remains newsworthy. Plus I'm just a little proud of the work we did reporting it, so if I have the chance to show off the photos again, I'll take it.

You'll have to click through for larger versions of the photos. Please let me know if you have any problems seeing them. I believe my photobucket is set for public access when you click on these. If that's not the case, let me know and I'll move a set to Flickr. I would just do that, but hey, that's more work than I want to do right now if I can avoid it. Yeah, I'm lazy. That's how I roll. PLEASE DO CLICKY BIGGY -- what you see on the front screen here is just a portion of the photo and doesn't well represent the shots. I need to work on that sometime when I can do some digging into the page construction.

Also -- it's a "Two-Fer" Wednesday. Please don't miss the post directly below this one for more news.

The news is still broken

2008-06-25T19:17:00.002-05:00

Night before last the suspect in the lumberyard arson case escaped from the county jail He happened to follow the escape route left by another prisoner. This was the second escape in about a week for the second prisoner -- previously he was one of three who escaped and were recaptured at a motel about six blocks from my house. Upon the recapture of the three, they were returned to the jail in lieu of $1 million bonds.

The arson suspect was being held on many counts and his bond was $200,000 on the eight original charges in connection with that case. He had just bonded out on some other counts the day before the arson was committed, so the bond was revoked on those counts. In other words, both of these guys are SUPPOSED TO STAY in jail.

The day of the arson's suspects initial court appearance, I went to court to watch. I wanted to see this punk up close. It was a real family affair for him that day. The two juvenile accomplices had their closed hearings that morning. One of those was his 16-year-old brother.

His 24-year-old sister also was on the same docket on three or four counts of her own. They were brought to court separately and sat facing each other. Other family members came to the courtroom and attempted to sit near the two but the jail custodian stopped them and told them to get back and sit on the back row.

That day in court was a good day to watch justice in action, as another "frequent flyer" appeared on new charges on his long rap sheet. The previous weekend he had been involved in an arrest in which he tried to escape and physically assaulted an officer. A lot of stolen property was discovered in his 91-year-old grandmother's garden shed. Unfortunately, she refused to help officers with information and got to spend some time in the back of the police cruiser for that bad choice. Of course they later released her, but that punk should be ashamed for involving her in his hot mess.

Somehow one of my co-workers happened to make it to the scene with his camera while the fracas was going on and got photos of the struggle and then of the officer's scraped-up arms where he tackled the punk. There's one great photo which shows a muddy footprint on the top of the officer's shoulder where the punk tried stepping over him to run.

The arson suspect was recaptured last night about 6 p.m. while I was in a public hearing about a mile away. Now if they can locate the other jailbird who got out of the cage, I can breathe easier.

Speaking of the public hearing: The Oklahoma Department of Environmental Quality held a public hearing on the issuance of a permit to operate a leachate pond at the city landfill. This is a common practice and is a step in every single landfill project in the state. This is for the expansion of a cell at the landfill, which has been operating since 1977.

What makes this a difficult situation is that the landfill is located directly across the street from a tribal cemetery (Ponca tribe). It is also within 500 feet of the Salt Fork River, a tributary to the Arkansas River. The confluence of the two rivers is nearby.

The tribe originally approved an agreement with the city to allow the city to use the site of a former quarry as the landfill in 1977. They are saying now that the agreement was to restore the quarry to level ground.

Now, however, 30 years later, the landfill is a 30-foot mountain rising above the level of the surrounding land. And it is growing taller daily. The landfill has polluted the groundwater in the area as well as being an eyesore. The landfill continues to operate even when tribal funerals are taking place.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is doing a combined environmental health risk assessment on this area to study the various contributing factors which may be polluting this tribe's community. The landfill is one of a half-dozen or so contributing risks.

Sadly, the last full-blooded Ponca died in the last year to two years. His well was tested and was found to contain a laundry list of carcinogens. The river, which is a stone's throw from the cemetery, contains toxic metals and other chemical and has been shown to be unfishable. But the tribe is dependent on subsistence fishing from the river.

Members of the tribe spent about two hours presenting their comments to ODEQ last night and the record remains open for additional comments until July 18. Many referred to the landfill as "environmental genocide." They also challenged the Angelos, as they call us, to locate the landfill in the northeast quadrant of the city, which is in the 20 wealthiest zip codes in Oklahoma.

I didn't understand the full scope of the problem until after the meeting. My co-worker who has been a friend of the Poncas for years needed a ride home because he had a flat on his car (had to take a taxi to the meeting.) He asked if I was in a hurry or if I had time to run out and take a look at the site. I'm glad I agreed to go and got an honest look at the land. I'll have to go back with my own camera to show y'all the situation, but honest to God, the landfill is a disgrace to us all. Where once these people had an unfettered view of the prairie, that is now obliterated by this "monument" to garbage. You can get a real understanding of how threatening this is to the area, especially the river, and how this is crushing the culture and spirit from the Poncas.

Those who know the history of the Poncas' forced removal from Nebraska to north-central Oklahoma will understand why members of the tribe say that this is yet another example of the Seventh Calvary's attack on a sleeping peoples. The ancestors of this community were forced here on foot. Learn more by studying the history of chiefs Standing Bear and White Eagle.

And stay tuned. One thing certain about news is there's a new story every day. And because of that, I am pondering creating a new companion blog which will focus on the daily local news. More on that anon.

The Pursuit of Fun

2008-06-23T22:40:00.002-05:00

Several things have converged over the past few days to get me thinking about the nature of "fun."

I've realized I can't quite honestly remember the last time I could say, in all certainty, that I was having fun. Not that I haven't -- surely we can't go for long periods of time without SOME fun, right? I hope. But I'm kind of caught up in figuring out the nature of FUN.

Is it something you can intentionally decide you're going to have? I have a blog friend who has made a resolution to have at least three minutes of fun a day. I get her point, and understand that we have to take care of ourselves and enjoy our lives. But man, is planning fun the way to do it? Is three minutes a day our daily minimum requirement of fun? And how pathetic are we as a species that we have to "work it in" to our daily lives?

Second, how do you recognize fun? Is fun a matter of laughing? Is it finding humor in the ordinary life around us? Is fun something more concrete and less esoteric than humor? Similar but different?

Is fun the absence of other things? For example, is it the absence of control by another? An absence of scheduled requirements, like working? A lack of pressure to achieve someone else's goals?

Is fun a matter of serendipity? Do we just stumble across it now and then like an elusive bird? Aha! There it is! Oops, no, now it's gone again.

Is fun an activity? Do you "have fun" in the same manner that you "make love"? If so, why do these things sound so much like work?

What do you consider fun? Is it something that generates from you, or do you find fun in the midst of others?

Is fun the same thing as relaxing? Can taking a nap be fun? Is reading fun? Or is there a set of prescribed activities that define fun?

What's fun for you? When was the last time you had fun? Do you have fun every day? Do you meet your daily minimum requirement of fun?

Is fun different than having a passion for an activity or interest? If you are passionate about your work, does that make it fun?

Tell me what you think! And ... have fun doing it!

Please pray

2008-06-17T18:32:00.003-05:00

Please pray for our friend Frenzied Feline from Life Happens. Her family has received bad news on a couple of fronts involving cousins. I know your support, emotionally and spiritually, is needed now and will be appreciated. Thanks, friends.

What's been going on

2008-06-16T15:55:00.004-05:00

The best thing that's happened recently is that Tech has awarded me the Arte y pico award, for “those who are creative or have a penchant for art.”
Tech received the award for his wonderful blog, 51313 Harbor Street. If you haven't visited Tech at his place, please do. He is an accomplished writer of novels, plays, poetry and blogs. He's also a great human being with a wonderful sense of humor and can say without reservation that my life has been enriched because of him and his blog.
I am humbled that he would nominate this blog for the Arte y pico award.

In return, I wish to nominate the following five blogs for the award:

Frenzied Feline at Life Happens (When You're Planning Something Else). I've "known" Frenzied for years through this great invention called the Internet. She is a whole-life artist and tells great stories about her family, life in California and her incredible church service. How she has the energy to do all of this, and do it so well, is an art in and of itself!

Ree at The Pioneer Woman. She has several blogs under the umbrella of her site. Ree is an incredible writer, photographer, cook, wife and mother of four children. Her blogs are outstanding works of art.

Alicia at Posie Gets Cozy. Alicia, I have to say that you have produced not only the most beautiful blog I've ever seen, but also the most beautiful life. Your incredible personal story, your creativity, your photography and writing -- heck, your whole beautiful life is the stuff from which my dreams are made. If I could wave my magic wand and have the life I dream of, it would be yours, living in Portland with a man like Andy and a precious doggie like Clover Meadow or her auntie Audrey, the beloved. Seriously, cheers to you and thank you so much for giving me the vision to believe that happiness can be created, even when life throws rocks.

Kuky at Kuky Ideas. Oh what a funny, loving woman! Her drawings/cartoons are sweet and funny and adorable and are the air I breathe some days. She's not posting as often right now, but I hope she can return soon. She is so creative and has such talent in so many areas. I'm glad I found her charming blog. You should all read it NOW. Just because it will make you feel happy to know people like Kuky are out there adding to the universal goodness.

Laurie at Crazy Aunt Purl. Another fabulous, funny writer; not only does she produce a hilarious blog about her life with her cats, but she's also recently published "Drunk, Divorced and Covered In Cat Hair, The True Life Misadventures of a 30-Something Who Learned to Knit After He Split." The book is funny, sad, heartbreaking and victorious, as is Laurie. I can remember when I first started reading her blog about her hand-knit hats. Now look at her, a star!

And here are the official award acceptance rules:

1. Pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.
2. Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog.
3. Each award winner (upon acceptance) should show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4. Show the link of Arte y pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. Show these rules.

***

And now, back to my mundane life:

It seems like I've hardly had time to breathe since the fire I posted about previously. I hope to post some more photos of that in the next post just for your entertainment.
As it turns out, the fire was set. Three young men (the oldest is 18) were arrested in connection with this and a laundry list of other things that have been happening here. The fire is estimated to have caused $1 million to $2 million in damages and wiped out a business that has been there for almost 40 years.
The day after the fire I helped my minister and his wife move to Oklahoma City. Their U-Haul truck came from the business that burned. The plastic tag attached to the key was melted from the heat of the fire. It's fortunate the truck keys were in a separate storage building next to the business.
Sunday after the move, I played a piano concert between services at my church, the first in the new welcome center addition. The weather was extremely bad that morning with heavy rain and winds up to about 60 mph. Lo and behold, as I was getting ready to play, drip. Drip, drip! Right down my back and onto the piano from our brand new skylight. I moved the piano to an area without a skylight and notified the building committee so they can have that checked.
That afternoon I played in a handbell concert that was a fundraiser to help rebuild the music program of a United Methodist church in Newkirk, OK. Their church burned several months ago and all of their instruments and music burned. Their handbells melted. This will be a small step to helping them cope.
That Monday was an incredibly long city commissioners' meeting at which the city budget for the coming fiscal year was passed, as was a controversial spay-neuter ordinance that has been on the table for several years. This is probably the single most argued issue since I've been here.
Other highlights of the week were an arrest of an Israeli national by the Department of Homeland Security, the arrest of the suspects in the building center fire, a state historic preservation meeting held here.
Honestly, things have become a blur, there's been so much happening. Much of it wouldn't interest people outside of my town -- probably wouldn't interest everyone here, either. But what can I say? It keeps me off the street most of the time.
Weather has been rather harsh too, with flooding rains and high winds often.

But what about those hours when I'm not working? Well, I've made a mid-year resolution not to spend money on anything but the essentials -- utilities, food, gasoline for getting to and from work, and other absolute essentials. Here's my post from E.R.'s blog ( Erudite Redneck. He had asked how we were coping with increasing fuel costs.

I've had to limit my out-of-town trips because of fuel costs. And I'm seriously considering walking to work when weather and schedule permit or getting a bicycle.
I'm doing like you -- making the cuts from my food budget, intentionally not shopping or buying anything but necessities (even cutting back on some of those like medications because I just can't afford to refill scripts until payday.) I live 10 blocks from work; it's cheaper for me to go home for lunch than to eat at one of the few choices I have in walking distance. Plus that gives me almost a full hour to relax in my own house in the middle of the day.
I go to the farmers' market on Tuesday afternoon and Saturday morning to make the food dollars go the best place possible and I'm growing my own herbs because it's cheaper than buying them in the store. And I'm making my own bread more often, with flours I've bought from local millers. Small changes, but it adds up.
Oh, and I have not watched TV in a year, so I do not have cable. I go to the library instead of the bookstore and I have decided that there's nothing on video worth renting (because I was collecting late fees.)
I'm working more hours (more than 50 a week) so I don't have time for much in the way of recreation.
When I moved here, I intentionally bought Energy Star appliances, including low-water use front loading washer and dryer. And I have nothing but CFL bulbs through the house.
The biggest thing, though, has been a Mid-Year Resolution not to make any purchases except for essentials for the rest of the year. I'm trying to limit that to groceries, prescriptions and things like toilet paper, shampoo and deodorant. Anything else will have to go on a list which will be evaluated at the end of every month. If it's still something I want/need after a waiting period, I'll consider it more seriously.

It's a shame to have to be so tight-fisted, but I'm making about a third of what I did during my previous full-time employment. I'm now making exactly the same number of dollars that I made when I worked for another small newspaper 22 years ago! That certainly does not take normal inflation into account, not to mention the sharp increases in fuel and grocery prices we now face. It's hard to be in this situation.

Hey Y'all!

2008-06-15T21:53:00.003-05:00

OK, I'm slow to catch up, but it's been a difficult stretch with all KINDS of things going on here.

Instead of trying to give you a complete run-down now, though, I want to offer you some tasty soup to help soothe your souls. I just made this myself tonight and give it two-thumbs-up, lick-the-bowl-no-one-is-watching rating.

I made this with some of the produce I bought at the Farmers' Market this week. So far I've made it to every sale, which is early Saturday morning and then again on Tuesday afternoon. It's a small operation with maybe a half-dozen to a dozen local producers bringing in baked goods, jams and jellies, veggies, eggs, cut flowers and plants. You'll see some homemade soap and decorative gourds as well. It's whatever happens to be ripe or ready the day of the market, so shoppers start here then fill in what they are missing at the grocery store. I surely do wish someone would have tomatoes soon!

Anyway, here's a great recipe for Potato-Leek Soup. You may not think it's soup season, but even though it's hot out there, this soup is light enough and satisfying enough to make me happy. Give it a try, and visit the farmers in your area to help support local agriculture and agribusinesses!

INGREDIENTS

* 1 cup butter
* 2 leeks, sliced
* salt and pepper to taste
* 1 quart chicken broth
* 1 tablespoon cornstarch
* 4 cups Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and diced
* 2 cups heavy cream

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large pot over medium heat, melt butter. Cook leeks in butter with salt and pepper until tender, stirring frequently, about 15 minutes.
2. Stir cornstarch into broth and pour broth into pot. Add the potatoes and bring to a boil. Season with salt and pepper. Pour in the cream, reduce heat and simmer at least 30 minutes, until potatoes are tender. Season with salt and pepper before serving.

Notes -- you could blend this at the end to puree it to a smooth consistency, if that's the way you roll. I smushed it up with my mom's old potato masher so it still has some texture to it.

This recipe is great as is, but feel free to doctor it up to suit yourself. It seems to be very forgiving of slight differences in the measurements, so don't sweat it if you use slightly less than the quart of chicken stock or the two cups of cream. Use what you've got handy. It's all good!

Excuse me now, I have to go put away the leftovers. I could swear there were some leftovers... somewhere ...

Hot time in the city

2008-06-04T07:33:00.002-05:00

It has been nonstop crazy since last Friday. At 4:14 a.m., to be exact.

My coworker called me then and woke me from a deep sleep.

"Can you smell it?" she asked. I heard sirens, which had almost penetrated my dreams in the way that we incorporate external stimuli into our dreams. Once I was awake enough to comprehend the question, I smelled the smoke she referred to. More confusion.

"What's going on?" I mumbled.

"The lumberyard is on fire!"

Lumberyard? There's no lumberyard in my yard. My brain strained to make sense of her words. Did she mean Lowe's? That's way out north, away from these sirens that were screaming past my house. Or the other place up north. I couldn't pull the name out of the smoky air.

No, it was a lumberyard/building center on the south side of town, maybe 3/4 of a mile from my house.

"I'm picking you up," she said.

Within 10 minutes of her call I had pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt I found at the top of the pile on the floor and we were on the scene of this:

More to come when I get to work. I'm running late. Suffice it to say NOTHING has slowed down since then.